Category Archives: Non-Races
I don’t think I’m being modest when I say the CAC2 has the best orienteering leg of any non-race we’ve ever put together. I can pretty much guarantee everyone, even the seasoned racers, will be impressed with what the CAC2 has to offer. And as much as I’d love to post photos of all the cool stuff you’ll see…I don’t want to ruin the surprise.
That’s a picture of my little brother on a “not so recent” CAC2 scouting mission. Despite the obvious badassery going on in this photo, I can assure you that the picture does absolutely no justice to either the coolness of the rock arch he stands upon, nor does it depict the deathplunge he would’ve experienced if he’d taken one step backward off of the rock. The CAC2 is supposed to be fun, but there are times when the CAC2 will demand your ultimate respect. Checkpoints have been placed in areas that showcase the land’s natural beauty, but also expose you to a bit of danger. This shit is serious business. (sometimes)
In that light, we’re going to require that you bring a bit of mandatory gear.
Individual Gear for the Entire Race:
- Backpack with at least 50 ounces of hydration (bladder, bottles, old Boy Scout canteen, whatever)
- Rain Jacket
- Blaze-orange vest or scarf or hat (anything blaze-orange) to keep hunters from shooting your ass
- Wool or Synthetic Stocking Cap
- Headlamp w/ fresh batteries
- Camera (not exactly mandatory, but we’d LOVE to see some photos of our CAC in action)
Individual Gear for the Bike Leg:
- Mountain Bike
- Rear-Facing Red Blinking Light
- Spare Tube
Team Gear for the Entire Race:
- Fully-Charged Cell Phone in waterproof container (make sure it’s charged!)
- Small First Aid Kit
- Iodine Tablets or other water treatment method
- Waterproof Map Case
Team Gear for the Bike Leg:
- Bike Tool
- Pump or Inflator
- Patch Kit
Other Stuff I would bring:
Lawn chair, beer, various forms of pork, a positive attitude, DOG SPRAY, wood splitter, WTFAR repellent, a change of clothes, some clean shoes, Mayonnaise and/or Ranch Dressing for Brian of WTFAR, toilet paper, sunscreen, camera, extra batteries, a blow-up doll for Adam, extra bbq sauce, lip balm, coffee, tent and sleeping bag, extra compass.
That should cover just about everything for now. Stay tuned for an update on the Gravel Grinder we’re doing on Sunday after the CAC2.
For those of you that missed it out on our CAC last year (read Kage’s report here, and our race report will be done… Um… Sometime in the next 10 years), you should be ashamed. The first CAC proved to be much longer and harder than anyone (Bob and I included) could have imagined. While our CAC might have worn people out, everyone left with smiles on their faces, completely satisfied.
The CAC will rise again, and trust me… If you love having a good time, then you want to be all over this CAC. This year’s CAC will be held (get it?) on April 6th, and HQ will once again be at the Pine Ridge Campground near Ashland, MO. Camping the night before and the night after is free (because we have so much clout in Missouri), and last year it was ridiculously fun. Just ask anyone who participated in the first CAC, and they’ll tell you that the camping was as much fun as the non-race itself.
The Carnage At the Creek Two (CAC2) is free (other than roughly 10 bucks for the map), and it will be roughly 6 hours. Solos, duos, trios, quadros, or whatever kind of team is allowed. You will be hiking, trekking, running, mountain biking, hike-a-biking (maybe), orienteering, and you’ll possibly face a mystery event or two.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), the CAC2 will have no paddling event…
OR WILL IT? MuwahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!
No, it won’t actually.
Even without a paddling leg this year, our CAC will still be (ahem) unbeatable. We will have many more details to come, but we need to know VERY soon if you will be joining us or not. The sooner you let us know you’ll be there, the more likely we’ll have a map for you. So let us know ASAP!
You can comment below, or you hop on the CAC facebook even page right here. So please don’t be shy. You know you’ll regret missing this when you here everyone raving about how much they enjoyed our CAC. Don’t be a fool. Come join us!
As Bob noted in his last post, the best adventure non-race in the world, Carnage at the Creek (CAC), will happen again in 2013. We aren’t quite sure on the date yet, but we’ll keep you posted on that front. What I want to share with you today, though, is pretty disturbing.
It has come to our attention that our beloved CAC had come under a vicious and unprovoked attack. No, I’m not kidding. And I know what you’re thinking:
But how could this be?
Who would possibly attack a CAC that has given so many people pleasure?
I thought everyone loved CAC.
Well, that’s what we thought too. But take a look at this:
Clearly, Todd from Whiskey Tango Foxtrot has some issues with the 2012 version of the CAC. I’d like to defend my CAC since it is so precious to me. So please watch the video above and then read my point-by-point rebuttal below.
Point 1: The Hike-a-Bike Section – This section may not have been “fun.” I can admit that. However, there are always parts of every adventure race where you think, “This sucks. I’m never doing this again.” But then you look back at it later and realize it was awesome… Unless you’re a wimpy Packers fan like Todd is.
Point 2: Getting Lost On the Way to the Race – Out of all the racers, volunteers, and super sexy race directors – over 30 people in all – only two people got lost. Can you guess who they were? I’ll give you a hint: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. That’s right, Brian and Todd. (And I love the fact that Todd risked his life for this shot.)
Point 3: Local Turkey Hunters – Well, there isn’t much to say about this one. Yes, it was turkey season. Yes, there was one disgruntled hunter. But he was probably more irritated with the 200 Bushcrafters in the area that weekend. Besides, it’s not like anyone was shot.
Point 4: Ticks in MO – Missouri isn’t the only state with ticks. Maybe Todd had more than his fair share of ticks, but that’s understandable. Everyone knows that Ticks are attracted to high levels of estrogen. (Todd’s rockin’ a sweet hat, by the way.)
Point 5: SuperKate Sleeps Like a Baby – Okay, I can’t really say anything about this one either. I’ve heard her snore, and it’s amazing that such a delicate, little flower could produce such a horrendous sound. Perhaps she’s developed sleep apnea in her old age.
Point 6: Proximity of Jefferson City to Iowa – Nothing I can do about this one. Maybe if someone put on an adventure non-race in Iowa, we would travel to that hell-hole.
Point 7: Snakes – It’s common knowledge that snakes, like ticks, are attracted to estrogen. (A very nice touch sitting on the toilet in this shot.)
Point 8: Bad Singletrack – I don’t get this one. I think the singletrack is easy and fun, but I guess I have a basic understanding of how my bike works and at least a modicum of athletic ability.
Point 9: Half-Priced Beef – I ate this questionable meat, and it truly was delicious. And I didn’t get sick. Man up, Todd. (That brownie looked delicious in this scene.)
Point 10: Bob Jenkins and Lukas Lamb are Sick SOB’s – What can I say? We tried to emulate the sickest, most sadistic race director we know – Gerry Voelliger.
Point 11: Smelly Rowboats – Coming from someone who lives in the middle of Iowa, a state most well-known for the stench of pig poop, this makes no sense.
Point 12: ??????? – There was no point #12, but don’t think I didn’t notice that hideous Cheese Head in this shot. You’ll pay, Todd Garrison. Oh, you’ll pay.
Obviously, all of Todd’s issues with our CAC are unfounded. For the rest of you, don’t worry. The CAC will be back sometime in April (probably) 2013. It will be bigger, longer, harder, and, as Todd said, maybe even bushier. Please don’t listen to Todd. He clearly has a case of CAC-envy.
Well folks, it’s that time of year again; time to start planning next year’s non-race. Approximately 5 months from now, (Pending the MDC announcing the last day of turkey season), “Carnage at the Creek” will make its triumphant return to Mid-Missouri.
*Pause ten seconds for applause*
Obviously, the race is still in its earliest stages of development. The one thing we know for certain is that there will be no mountain biking on horse-accessible trails this year…I promise. We’ve had with these damn horses and the trail of destruction they leave behind. All biking for the 2013 CAC will take place on “horseless” singletrack and gravel roads.
The 2013 orienteering leg will include land features not used in previous non-races. There may or may not be a coasteering leg this time, a cave or two, and several other previously-unseen areas of the Mark Twain National Forest. Just know that it’ll be very, very fun. Did I mention I’ve found two natural rock arches out there?
While there will be several changes for 2013, one thing will remain the same: This will be the best adventure non-race in the
midwest world. That’s right, I said the world. If you can find a free AR that’s better than ours, I’ll name my first child Adam Laffoon Jenkins. You heard it here first, if you can find a better FREE adventure race ANYWHERE, I will name my own child after this man:
There will be free food, free beer, free camping before and after the race, free fart smelling in every tent, and I can personally guarantee that pork steaks will rain from the sky when the race is over.
The only thing CAC2 non-racers will pay for is their map. we’ve paid for the maps in years past, but at $9 a piece they got pretty expensive last year. Still, $9 for a race like this is a steal.
Race date is tentatively set for April 20th, 2013. That may or may not change, depending on the official end to hunting season. We pissed some turkey hunters off last year, and I’d like to avoid repeating that.
The CAC Adventure Non-Race has come and gone. A full non-race report will be coming soon… Or will it?
I had a really great weekend (other than giving myself an ulcer by worrying about every single person out on the race course until everyone was finished and accounted for). I hope everyone involved, from the non-racers to the volunteers to the friends and family, enjoyed themselves as well.
Below you will find the non-results for the Carnage at the Creek non-race. Teams are non-ranked by time if all 13 CP’s were gotten, and then by total # of CP’s. In a couple of instances, teams are ranked behind another team with less total CP’s because of a missed time-cutoff. If you want to argue the results, you have 30 seconds from the time you read this to file a formal complaint. Seriously, though, if I made a mistake, please let me know about it, and I’ll try to make it right.
With the boat situation at the end, we had a couple of solos use a kayak. Yes, they are indeed faster than a rowboat. We tried to make the most out of what we had to work with. I made a note for those that used a kayak.
Okay, I think that just about covers everything. So, here you go. Just click on the image to enlarge the CAC… results (Oh, and just so you know, the race started at 9:10 am):