Category Archives: Training
Well, for those of you living in a cave, I’d like to make you aware of a little football game going down this Sunday. We call it the Super Bowl. And with the Super Bowl, comes Super Bowl parties which means way too much food and drink, which also means one of our worst ideas of all time is about to happen again.
There is something you can do as a preemptive strike on all of those calories. And to all of you out there who say, “Just don’t eat any junk food or put anything into the holy temple that is your body,” I say SHUT YO’ MOUTH! That’s just ridiculous. I’m going to eat and drink whatever I want on Super Bowl Sunday, and no one is going to make me feel guilty about it. After all, it’s what we do most of the time that matters, and most of the time I eat a healthy diet. Sunday will not be one of those days, though.
Team Virtus is once again here to “help.” It’s called the Super Century, and it is a really stupid and terribly awful idea – a virtual group trainer ride of at least 62 miles (a metric century). Yes, I said it’s a TRAINER RIDE of 62 MILES OR MORE… INDOORS! Want to know how it all came about last year? Then check this out.
Last year, the first annual Super Century was a taint-smashing success. Not only did we have riders from all over the country, but we had some lunatics doing some crazy things instead of the trainer ride so we could all suffer together thousands of miles apart (check it out). So don’t be shy. If you want to join us, just leave us a comment below.
There aren’t any real rules. Just hop on a trainer (borrow one if you must), and pedal for 100 kilometers. You can even ride outside if you want to. Or you can try to come up with an equally stupid challenge. No idiot will be turned away.
Be sure to check us out on Facebook and Twitter for updates, photos, smack-talk, and other tomfoolery. Last year we even had “#supercentury” trending in the St. Louis area last year. So if you are
stupid awesome and brave enough to join us in this horrible “group” ride, be sure to use the #supercentury hashtag so we can see it. I’ve also set up a challenge on Daily Mile which you can find right here.
I’ll be starting at 6:00 AM Central Time again this year since I have to work at 11:30. If you want to be able to “chat” with us via facebook and twitter, you should be riding sometime between 6:00 AM and 10:30 AM CDT. I hope to be done in 4 hours or so, but we’ll see.
So… Seriously, it was one of the worst things I did last year, yet it was one of the best things I did last year (Here is my terrible blog post about it). It’s hard to describe just how terrible and awesome it really was, so you should just join us and find out for yourself. Yes, YOU! And if you’re preparing for the Dirty Kanza, the OGRE or Cedar Cross, then you should DEFINITELY join us since it will not only train your legs and taint, it will train your mind!
Leave us a comment if you want to join us, if you have questions, and especially if you have any movie recommendations to help me block out the pain in my ass.
First, I’d like to say happy New Year to all of you Virtusites out there! I hope it’s the very best year for all of you.
We’ve been a little quiet here on the blog lately. Well, we’re going to try to fix that. I need to finish several race reports, and I need to write a couple of posts about upcoming events (like the SHITR on Saturday and the MLK2 Ride the Saturday after that). But to whet your appetite, I thought I’d do a quick post on yesterday’s goings-on: The Soda Mile followed by some trail running.
After yesterday, I can proudly say that I have surpassed Kage with the highest miles-driven-to-miles-raced ratio. Her previous best was driving from Edwardsville, IL to Jefferson City, MO for the Kicks in the Sticks race. That’s roughly a 150 mile drive to run 7.5 miles for a ratio of 20 to 1. Well yesterday, I drove from Jefferson City to Edwardsville for a ONE mile race for a ratio of (for those of you who are mathematically challenged) 150 to 1. That’s gonna be hard to beat.
Why would I drive that far for a one mile race? To support a friend of course. But also because it sounded like a blast. It was a soda mile to benefit a friend’s son dealing with cancer. I had never even heard of a soda mile, but once I understood what it was, I knew I had to go.
Here are the rules:
- Drink an entire can of soda.
- Run one lap around the track.
- Repeat 3 more times.
- Try not to barf but if you must, do NOT barf on the track.
I was up in the first heat, and there were some young, thin, fit high school runners in my heat. Although I knew I wouldn’t be anywhere near the podium, seeing these young, fast dudes confirmed it. But there was something else I could do better than these young whippersnappers. I could out-chug them. My only goal was to slam my diet 7-Up, get the hole shot, and be the leader through turn one – just like Bob does at every cross race.
Taking the early lead was so easy I almost felt bad for the young bucks. I pounded the soda, smashed the can in my hand like a man, threw it down, and took off running. For a brief second, I thought about trying to run the mile as hard as I could. Then my right calf tightened up, and I reigned it back in. Not that it would have mattered. The other guys were much faster than I was.
As I was belching my way over to the straight-away on the track, I heard some monstrous burps behind me. It was a young guy who went on to be the overall winner with a time of 7:48 or something like that.
I finished lap one, grabbed another soda, and chugged as much as I could. It didn’t go down as easily as the first one, though. The third and fourth sodas went down a little more slowly as well. The first 100 yards after each soda was always the worst. I tried to open up my gut and throat to let as many belches out as possible. Every time I hit the straight-away on the other side of the track I would be burp-free, and I could actually run full-speed again (although I wasn’t exactly crushing it since I wanted to save my calf for the trail running later in the day).
I passed a couple of younger, faster guys on the side of the track barfing. It was hilarious. I finished in 10:49 or so. It was one of the slower times in my heat, but that’s okay. That’s not what this event was about. It was about helping a friend and having fun.
Kage was up next, and she was not really looking forward to drinking the soda and possibly barfing. But would that stop her? Absolutely not. We all knew that Kage was going to step up and chug 4 sodas and run the fastest mile of the day. And here’s a video to prove it:
Kage finished the first lap with no problems. There was no barfing. I know… Disappointing. Before Kage started her second lap, Patrick and I informed her that she had not actually finished the entire can. Well, here’s what she thought about that:
Kage probably drank half of each can (if we’re being generous), and she finished her mile in 25 minutes. Okay, that’s not true. I actually don’t know what her time was, but I think it was around 9 and a half minutes or so. And it didn’t really matter that she didn’t drink all the soda. The spirit of a soda mile is all about fun.
Our friend Sara – who broke out of prison with us – was in the last heat of the day. I think she actually drank all four of her sodas and successfully completed the mile without barfing. She rocked it!
The soda mile was a lot of fun. It was very laid back, and no one took it too seriously. The top three runners received their awards: Six-packs of soda. We later found out that the event raised $2,511.00 for our friend Lindsay’s family. And that is very cool.
After the race, Kage and Patrick (of 100+ Project fame) were nice enough to take me running on their local trails. The trail through the Big Woods was fantastic. The other trail was great too, but I really enjoyed the Big Woods. I won’t bore you with the details, but here is a synopsis followed by some photos:
- The trails were great.
- The company was even better.
- The bridges were super slick.
- Wild Running is way too much fun.
- We spotted Sasquatch.
- I learned about (and ran through the ruins of) the Mississippi River Festival from the ’70′s (Here’s a cool video that shows some of the trail and relics).
- We had some great conversations and laughed a lot.
- We covered 9.75 miles (with just a bit of walking at the end).
And now for the photos:
Don’t forget about the SHITR on Saturday and the MLK2 ride next Saturday! I hope to see you there!
At long last, a competitive trail run has made its way to Jefferson City. This weekend, the Kicks in the Sticks is going to happen and I’ll be there with my super-hot feyoncee, (yes, I spelled it wrong on purpose), on a quest for trail running glory. I fully plan to dominate the 30-39 y/o male 260+lbs category….if there is one. If there isn’t, I think all of us fatties should throw $5 in a hat and let the winner take all.
Who else is going?
Rumor has it our man Brandon Lepage will be making his triumphant return to the race scene, and it’ll be nice to see that guy again.
If you live in Jeff City/Columbia, there’s really no reason to miss this event. Come on out and support local racing; if we’re lucky this will be the first of many. I’ve heard rumors of free beer at this race..In case you can’t read the flyer, info can be found at www.kicksinthesticks.com and www.jeffcityrotaract.com .
No, not that kind of virgin. I’ve got four kids, for cryin’ out loud. Get your mind out of the gutter, would ya? I’m talking about 100-mile virginity. You see, I was a virgin to century rides up until a few days ago.
I was supposed to get my first century done at last year’s Dirty Kanza, but that didn’t work out too well. With this year’s DK200 coming up in just 5 weeks (HOLY CRAP! 5 Weeks?!?!), I thought it was about time I got my first century out of the way. So Bob and I planned on doing a slightly modified version of a mostly flat 100-miler to Booneville and back that Stoney Cranmer, of Team Red Wheel fame, put together.
A couple of friends that were going to come just couldn’t make it (Kage and Travis), but our friends Aaron Lackman, Justin Nemeth, and Dave Baettie met Bob at the N. Jefferson Katy Trail right on time. Since my lovely wife and I decided to let our oldest daughter open her presents on her 10th birthday before going to school, I was unfortunately running late. As I sped the Virtus Van towards the Katy Trail, the skies did not look promising.
I rolled into the parking lot, and tried to get ready as quickly as possible. The weather was a cool 60-ish degrees, and although it looked like it would rain at any moment, we were staying dry as we rolled out on the Katy Trail. My plan was to maintain a 12 mph pace which is what I plan to ride at Dirty Kanza. The first 15 minutes or so, we were hovering around 13 mph, so that was close enough.
It wasn’t very long into the ride when a kamikaze squirrel scurried out in front of Dave, Aaron, and me. It was a big, fat, brown squirrel, and when it saw us, it sprinted straight down the Katy Trail, panicked, bolted left, right, then left again. Dave nailed it with his chain ring and then rolled over it with his back tire. It was amazing! It happened so fast, and Dave barely even felt anything. And the squirrel actually got back up and ran off into the woods, apparently unharmed. Bob and Justin missed the show.
Riding onward, we passed the first stretch of the Katy Trail that runs right next to the Missouri River, and we were happy that there was no head-wind.
It was pretty clear at this point that a 12 mph pace was going to be too slow for everyone but me. So I told everyone else to go to hell, and they dropped me. No, that’s not true. They stayed back with me for the first half hour or so, but since I was feeling good and the weather was perfect, I picked up my pace to around a 14 to 15 mph average.
I’m sure the other guys could have gone even faster, but this was a “time-in-the-saddle” ride: a ride to work out the kinks in our nutrition and hydration plan for Dirty Kanza and to get our taints, backs, and arms used to being in the riding position for hours at a time.
A few miles before Hartsburg, there was a really rough patch of the Katy Trail. We didn’t see it in time, and we just smashed right over the ruts on our cross bikes. No big deal… Until we made it into Hartsburg, and I realized that two of my water bottles full of my precious e-Fuel had fallen out of my Minora. Again, this wasn’t too big of a deal on this ride where I can get water at every stop on the Katy Trail. At Dirty Kanza, though, this would have been a costly mistake. I’ll make sure they are more secure for the DK200.
After a couple of the guys refilled their water bottles, we hopped on some flat gravel roads.
We kept riding, talking, laughing, and having more fun than anyone working or going to class that day (Kage). The clouds were beginning to dissipate, and we were having a really good time. My new Revelate Designs Tangle Bag, on its maiden voyage I might add, was awesome. I had a Camelbak hydration bladder in there along with my bike tools, money clip, and a snack or two. It was really nice to have nothing on my back.
As we rolled along, I noticed Bob was employing a new technique to keep his legs fresh while on his bike. I was quite impressed, so I snapped a photo:
Everyone was feeling good, and we kept riding. When we got near Cooper’s Landing, Bob decided to take an alternate route, so he took the gravel while the rest of us stayed on the Katy Trail. He always marches to the beat of his own drummer.
We all laughed at the weather man. It was supposed to reach record-high temperatures today. No way. It was in the 70′s and there was a light, cooling breeze. This ride was going to be a piece of cake. We just kept putting miles behind us as we talked and laughed.
When we reached McBaine, we headed out on some pavement. Again, this was Stoney’s route. We rode some pavement onto some more pavement. There were no good views, we weren’t near the river, and we had no idea why Stoney would add this stretch of pavement to the ride. But then we saw it… The Big Ass Tree. And Stoney’s route made a lot more sense.
Now, I had heard about “The Big Ass Tree” before, and it looked like a pretty big tree as we rode towards it. I’ll be honest with you, though. I wasn’t really impressed. But then, as we got closer and closer, I began to realize just how big this tree really is, and let me tell you, it is a BIG ASS TREE! And it just seems so out of place. There is nothing around it. You really just need to see this thing to truly get a sense of how big this mo-fo is. Here are a couple more shots, but photos never do justice:
I guess “The Big Ass Tree” is not it’s official name. It is also referred to as the McBaine Famous Bur Oak Tree, but I prefer “Big Ass Tree.” Don’t you?
We said good-bye to the Big Ass Tree and hopped back on the Katy Trail. It wasn’t long before a we saw a DNR truck parked in the middle of the Katy Trail. As we got closer, we saw a wonderful sight. Lisa had found my water bottles and tracked us down. Big thanks to you, Lisa, wherever you are.
This time when I put my water bottles back into the cages on the Minora, I bent the cages in to make sure the bottles stay put. I had no more problems losing the bottles. I might use a simple strap or something similar at Dirty Kanza to make extra sure they stay put.
Lisa left us, and we jumped back on the bikes. I looked up just in time to stop before running over Aaron who had crashed. Apparently, Bob completely cut him off (unknowingly if you ask Bob, but the jury is still out on that). Aaron couldn’t get unclipped, and he just toppled over. It was his first crash on his new Salsa Vaya. Aaron has cat-like speed, though, and I only managed to get a shot of him after he hopped back up to his feet.
Between McBaine and Rocheport we had a ton of fun and saw lots of cool stuff. Here is just a small sampling. We saw:
And then on the other side of Rocheport, we rode through the tunnel:
The sun was out in full force now, and the temperature was definitely rising. From Rocheport to Booneville was my least favorite part of the ride. There was a strong headwind for the last 10 miles, the scenery wasn’t great, and the Katy Trail seemed to stretch on forever and ever. We were all still feeling pretty good, but this part of the ride was just dragging on.
We eventually rolled through New Franklin and Franklin, and we soon found ourselves crossing Boonslick Bridge into Booneville.
We were all hungry, so we stopped at the Riverside Diner for some grub. After all the crap that Bob has given Adam about not eating any gravy in the past, Bob had the audacity to not order any gravy. Of course, I shamed him into adding a side of it, and Bob proceeded to dip his double bacon cheeseburger into the gooey gravy goodness.
This would end up being a bad idea for Bob, but we’ll get to that in a second. We paid our bills, jumped back on our bikes, and we rolled out again. The route back to Jefferson City included a little bit of pavement and gravel with some climbs. Even though it had gotten pretty damn hot and humid, we were still feeling good, so we jumped off the Katy and onto the pavement.
The hills hurt more than we had anticipated, the heat was getting to us, and Bob’s stomach was not really cooperating after eating all that gravy. I’m not sure what he was thinking when he ordered that, but maybe he’ll know better next time. Anyway, after a few miles of gravel, hills, and heat, we decided to jump back on the Katy Trail to finish the ride.
The hills and the gravel were a nice break from the monotony of the Katy Trail, but we were glad to be back on the flat, smooth surface anyway. We rode back through the tunnel on our way to Rocheport, and we decided to take a break under its cool, breezy shade.
Bob’s gravy was trying to find it’s way back out of him one way or another, so we decided to take it a little easy for awhile. We made it into Rocheport and stopped for another break. I was starting to feel the effects of the heat and the miles at this point, so I was more than happy to take another break. I dumped a water bottle of cold water over my head, and, after the initial shock, it felt wonderful.
Aaron needed to get home by 5:00-ish, so he needed to pick up the pace. Justin decided to keep him company, and Dave decided to stay back with us (even though he could have smashed us and left us in his wake). So we said good-bye as they rolled onward, and we rested a bit longer.
We soon got back on our bikes and started riding towards Jeff City once again. Bob seemed to be feeling much better at this point, but I was starting to fall apart. By the time we hit Hartsburg (only 10 – 11 miles from Jefferson City), I was really hurting. I had a pretty bad headache, I was starting to slow down, and I couldn’t even think about eating anything. I’m pretty sure I got behind on my hydration, and that is a BIG no-no.
I was carrying plenty of water, but for whatever reason, I just didn’t drink enough. Maybe it was because the morning temps were fairly mild and the riding was fairly easy. Or maybe it was because I was having too much fun riding with my friends. I don’t know what happened. Usually I stay on top of that kind of thing. All I know is, if that happens at Cedar Cross or Dirty Kanza, my race will be over.
The last stretch of the Katy Trail from Hartsburg took forever. And I mean for… ev… errrrrr… We’ve ridden that piece of the Katy countless times, so I knew each and every little landmark. I kept thinking we’d never make it back to the parking lot. I was wrong, though. We made it back just a bit after 6:00 PM for a total time of 10 hours and 20-ish minutes. Actual riding time was 7 hours and 54 minutes. The total distance ended up being 102.29 miles.
Aaron had already left so he could be with his family, but Justin was still hanging around. I wish I could have stuck around longer than I did, but I needed to get home since it was my daughter’s birthday. On top of that, I felt like dried dog poop, so I bid adieu to everyone and headed home.
By the time I got home, my headache had gotten worse, and I couldn’t even finish my dinner since I felt like puking. Let me repeat that. I, Lukas Lamb, could not finish my dinner… after riding my bike all day… for over 100 miles… Um, yeah. I’m pretty sure I was severely dehydrated and possibly on the verge of heat exhaustion. On my way home, I realized that I had only urinated once all day. That’s just stupid. When I finally went to the bathroom at my house, my pee was a dark, brownish-yellow. Not good at all.
So I learned a BIG lesson: Carrying enough liquid isn’t enough. You actually have to drink it to prevent dehydration. Now, that’s pretty obvious to most, isn’t it? Well, it was obvious to me before this ride, and I still managed to screw it up. It won’t happen again… I hope.
Anyway, it was truly a great ride. Not only was it my first century ride, but it was Aaron’s first one as well. It might have been Justin’s first century too, but I’m not sure on that one. So, I’m no longer a century virgin. If all goes well this weekend at Cedar Cross, I’ll get my second century in. And if everything goes perfectly on June 2nd at Dirty Kanza, I’ll lose my bi-century virginity too. I can’t wait!
While we’re busy
licking our wounds finishing the race report for the LBL Challenge (here’s part 1 or you can read Kage’s report right here), I thought I’d share the video from a gravel grinder we did back in February when Casey was in town for a visit. If you want to read the recap of the ride, you can find that here. If you’re lazy, you can just watch the video below. Enjoy…