Point of No Return – From Clydsedale Racer to Chippendales Dancer

Alright… This is going to get ugly… And I mean really ugly. I’m talkin’ Rosie O’Donnell-With-No-Makeup-Ugly.  But this is just something I’ve got to do.  I have no choice.  My good friend and Teammate, Bob Jenkins, has burned his ships on the shores of his enemy.  And now I’m ready to up the ante, so to speak.  I have to do something to hold myself accountable.  So here goes…

Once upon a time, I actually had abs.  No, seriously.  I really did.  Please stop laughing.  And I mean abs that you could actually see.  In fact, I was so shredded that I even had back-abs.  Okay, that’s not true.  Seriously, though, I used to be in really good shape.  Unfortunately, I got fat and lazy.  Actually, I guess I got lazy and then I got fat, but the two seem to go hand in hand.  In fact, someone actually once told me, “You look like you used to work out.”  Wow… That isn’t exactly a compliment, is it?

Over the last few years, my weight has fluctuated from 246.5 (my heaviest weight ever) down to 193, back up to 230, back down to 200, back up to 230, back down to 200…  It seems like every time I got close to my goal weight, I would just start to slowly slip back into my lazy, french-fry eating ways (Damn, I love fries!!!).

Well, I did it again.  As of January 4th, 2010, I was back up to 230 pounds again.  I am disgusted.  I am disappointed.  And I AM DONE!  I figured if I posted a picture of me on this blog and vowed to post a picture of me every month, then I’d have to make some serious changes – and STICK WITH IT.  Oh, I forgot to mention that I’d be topless in the pics.

So, this is gonna be hard, but I don’t care.  I have to do it.  So, here’s a warning.  If you have a weak stomach, then please don’t scroll down any farther.  If you couldn’t watch Bear Grylls squeeze water out of an elephant turd into his mouth, then you’d better not read on.  If you had to hide your eyes when Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods ate this, then you should really stop right now.  I’ll wait while you find another post to read on our site…

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You’re still with me?  Wow, you are a sicko, aren’t you?  Okay then.  I warned you.  This is your last chance to turn away before having an image of me without a shirt, burned into your mind permanently.  If you’re okay with that, then here goes:

Fat Luke

Fat Luke on 01/06/10 - Weight was 227

Fat Luke from the side - 01/06/10

Fat Luke from the side

Fat Luke's Back

From Back Abs to Back Fat - 01/06/10

So, there you have it.  I hope you don’t have too much trouble picking the chunks of vomit out of your keyboard.  Don’t blame me, though, because I warned you.

I’m already down to 222 as of this morning, so I’m on my way.  I’d like to get below 200 pounds by May 1st, which just so happens to be the date of Syllamo’s Revenge.  I still can’t believe I signed up for this thing.  I figure if I’m gonna ride 50 miles of single track in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas, then I’d better no longer be a “Clydesdale.”  And, who knows?  If I end up getting Back abs, then I just might start a career as a Chippendales dancer (If you click that link, that’s me on the right and my future self on the left – hopefully without the poofy mullet).

So, that’s my goal.  Lose 22 more pounds in a little over 15 weeks AND KEEP IT OFF.  No problem, right?

Go ahead and make fun of me in the comments section.  Call me lard-ass.  Tell me how disgusted you are at the sight of me.  Tell me I’ll never make it.  I don’t care anymore.  The time is now.  As Bob said in his blog, “Failure is my motivation, and the tank is full.  Please……please doubt me. Oh, I love it when they doubt me.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Advertisements

About Lukas Lamb

Husband to a wonderful wife, father to 4 incredible kids (3 daughters and 1 son), adventure racer, mountain biker, runner, lifter of weights, reader of books, and lover of life. He can be found on Google+

Posted on January 14, 2010, in Training, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I was surfing the web looking for pictures of large men (a.k.a. clydesdales) when I came across your blog. I just love your pics, they are very nice.

    I think it’s just so silly that you want to lose weight. You are sexy just the way you are. You have the most perfect little love handles that would make great grips for hanging on to.

    I was not disgusted with your revealing photos. I just wish you showed a little more of your manly body. I am afaid that I will have to clean my keyboard but it won’t be chuncks of vomit that I have to clean up.

    Looking forward to more pictures,

    The Bear Hunter

  2. Wow. Just fucking wow.

    Luke, you’re my hero. I never could’ve done that.

    Your “ship” went to ashes pretty damn quick right there. Accountability isn’t even the word, I’m prolly going to have to bust out a thesaurus on that one.

    And why did Corey Case choose to come out of the closet on this blog under an assumed identity?

  3. Luke I knew I liked you from the minute I met you…. Plus the way you swallowed that Pabst can is still firmly in my mind….. You will succeed… And honestly your pics are not that awful. I like big boys anyway…

  4. Alfredo – that was very disturbing.

    Bob- Thanks, man. I can’t wait to post the “after” pics.

    Sasha – thanks for the kind words, but I know I’m a fat ass right now. And I knew I liked you the minute you handed me an ice cold PBR!

  1. Pingback: Marathon, Here We Come! (We Hope) « The Running of the Lambs

What are you thinking? Leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: