$5 buys a lot of pain…and fun

This last thursday marked the 2nd edition of local cyclocross racing in Jefferson City. I missed out on last week’s race because of work issues, but was super psyched to toe the line last night with about…9 other people?

How it went down:

I rolled into the parking lot just as Luke was getting registered, and it wasnt long before Barry and Bopp showed up. There was also a vanload of dudes from Walt’s bike shop and a CBC rider in attendance, so as far as I’m concerned the race was a sucess.

Why there weren’t more TRW racers there is a mystery to me; I would have to think that by now everyone knows about this race series. I’ll just assume that any TRW cross racer not in attendance for a $5 race at “our park” is intimidated by my blistering speed and good looks.

The course had quite a bit of straightaway with minimal winding turns.  Not exactly the kind of cross course we’re accustomed to, but there was enough to keep everyone entertained. Mostly it was smooth grass with a few good climbs, a full-sized pair of uphill barriers and a triple set of short barriers.

Link to course layout

Aaron fired his starter pistol and the race was underway. I was unable to get clipped in right away, so I lost some ground early. Given the competition, I knew I only had about 5 minutes worth of “badass” in me, so I decided to make the most of it.  I sprinted until I was even with the 1st place rider, (Mizzou guy), and politely explained to him that I’d like to take the lead at least thru turn 1.

He graciously moved his skinny ass out of the way and I took the lead. Classy guy, I say. I enjoyed approximately 3 seconds of cyclocross glory leading the group into turn 1, but picked a really stupid line way too far  inside and wound up having to swing wide off the course to keep the rubber down. This drew much laughter from the “peloton”, but I managed to make my way back onto course in 3rd position behind Mr Vollmer.

Not long after that, Chris Bopp came whistling past me… just like old times. I couldn’t help but smile and think back on all the CX races we had done together in the past, those really were some good times.

Hard to believe that was in 2008

I still think he shaved his eyebrows for that race, but I’m not sure why.

Then I saw Bopp do something I hadn’t seen him do before during a race: He washed out his front wheel and bit the dirt right in front of me. I mean to say his bike went one way and he went  the other… it was really a sight to behold.  This drew many more laughs from the “peloton,” (and myself), but I knew he’d be bringing the thunder now. The Bopper is always faster after he wrecks.

I was having a great first lap, running 2nd and within a few feet of 1st. The triple set of barriers was coming up and I have to admit I was completely unconcerned with them. The plan was to bunny hop and sprint…it didn’t happen. I cleared the first one, but somehow managed to go OTB on the next…landing a perfect Tencious D powerslide.

Ok, so maybe it didn't look this cool

Ouch on the knees.

Oh well, being in front was fun while it lasted. After that, I took my rightful place in the lineup…no-man’s land. It never fails, I’m always really far ahead of the guys behind me and really far behind the guys in front. I raced hard anyway, because you never know when someone else might crash:)

Nearing the start/finish line, I remember lamenting the absence of beer handups and drunken fanfare. Lo and behold, Nick Smith jumped out of  the bushes and sprayed me down with delicious Keystone Light. That shit was cold….although I’m not sure how he managed to somehow only douse me in the crotch. It all seemed a bit pre-meditated if you ask me.

Anyone seeking to know proper beer-douching etiquette may refer to the photo below. I’m sure we all remember the day this photo was taken because it was the Rim Wrecker, (my first mtb race) where  I dominated Corey Case.

Those really were the glory days

Lap 2, Nick’s beer spraying precision got a little better, dousing me in the face and jersey. I even got some beer in the mouth..not bad work. When I came around for lap 3, we had all the kinks worked out and I received a 1/2 FULL can of Keystone.

I do love cyclocross.

5 laps came and went. I have no idea who won, but I think everyone had a good time. Results should be posted soon at respecttheride.org.

I’ve already put in a time off request so I can compete in this week’s race. I’m bringing a case of beer, a fire pit and the uncanny ability to have an awesome time getting my ass kicked by strangers and friends.

Binder–Thursday nights at 615–$5

Be there

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About Bob Jenkins

Crusher of beers.

Posted on October 30, 2010, in Race Reports and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Nice work, Bob. Remember when you just assumed that you would be ahead of me before the race even started? Thanks, jerk. Well it turns out you were right (as if there was ever a question). I think I ended up 7th out of 9, but I also had a headlight while the other two guys did not.

    I’ll add my own report after this next race with photos from all 3 races. I hope more and more people keep coming out. It’s a lot of fun, and it’s RIGHT IN OUR BACKYARD!

    Thanks to Nick for the beer in the face and the hand-up. It made it feel more legit.

    Can’t wait ’til this Thursday!

  2. Great write-up, wish I could have been there. I won’t be there again this week…Race Across the Sky is playing in Columbia, so I’m gonna go try and spot Bob.

  3. If they show me whimpering like a baby on top of Columbine I’m gonna be pissed.

  4. Hey Brandon,

    Why don’t you come to the race this Thursday, and then we can all catch the encore showing on Tuesday November 9th? Bob, you down with that?

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