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Non-Race Poll–Choose Your Destiny

As I sit here at work wishing I was ANYWHERE else in the world, I look back on our non-race photos and think of the lessons we’ve learned.

Kayak paddles can be used for both Kung Fu and dry-humping

 And as if that wasn’t fascinating enough:

Argyle socks allow you to levitate across water!!

And let’s not forget:

My mom likes to bring us food

 Preparations will soon begin for Non-Race #3. Race details are in an extremely preliminary state, and that’s why we’d like to offer you the opportunity to contribute. Take the poll below and let us know what kind of FREE race would you like to do.

 All input and ideas are welcome, just keep one thing in mind: No matter what type of event we put together, you WILL be tested. These non-races have a rich history of crushing bodies, testing marriages and getting your clothes very, very stinky. If you vote for the eating contest, you better bring your A-game and a barf bag. There will be schwag of some kind, beer and baked potatoes at the finish, and we’ll get as many photos of you as possible. All you have to do is show up and not be a douchebag.

So vote already!!

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About Bob Jenkins

Crusher of beers.

Posted on July 23, 2011, in Contests/Giveaways, Non-Races, Upcoming Races. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I voted, but only bc you made me choose in a bit of Sophie’s Choice-style agonizing. Really (as long as it’s not an eating contest, where I already learned I can’t hang) I’ll show up for anything TV puts on, just as long as you call it The One Night-One Morning Stand, just so I can title my race report “My one-night stand with Team Virtus”. Or “I had a one night stand with Team Virtus and I’m not even walking funny”. (it’s a work in progress)

  2. Right now every member of Team Virtus is staring at his own computer screen….desperately trying to censor filthy sex jokes so they’re suitable to put on the site. I’ve got nothing.

    I really wish I knew you better, Kate.

    • I have to admit that it took me a couple rewrites before I had something I felt comfortable leaving.

      We need to find a race I can do with you guys.

  3. How about Checkpoint Tracker Nationals in October?

        • As long as you remember that I’m a mediocre athlete at best, heck yeah.

          • You’ll definitely be walking funny after that

          • I’d hardly call you a mediocre athlete, Kate. You’re selling yourself short. You can go all day long, you’ve already beaten me at a trail 15K, and you’re improving on the bike all the time. Plus, you don’t whine, you laugh at some of our jokes (even if it’s out of pity), and you race for all of the right reasons.

            We’re still talking about whether or not we can do Nationals. It’s relatively close this year, and it’s being run by Bonkhard Racing, so we know it’ll be a well-run, fun race. We just need to make sure we can afford it… both financially and regarding time away from work and family.

            But I wasn’t kidding about you joining us if we decide to do it.

            • We’ve already had this conversation…I prefer being a pleasant surprise to a disappointment.

              It looks very cool. Let me know what you decide. And I just put clipless pedals on my mountain bike, so hopefully any forthcoming casts will be off before October. 🙂

  4. You’re testing people for a non-race? PEDs across the board or specific substances? Olympic style (blood) or the more easily fudged urine test (that’s what most organizations do). I think we should go blood. If we are going to test them, we should test them right.

  5. Luke I hate to be the one to break it to you, but didn’t you already sign up for the BT Epic, it is the same day as Checkpoint Tracker Nationals. Sorry, although I think Nationals would be a blast.

    • You are correct, sir. However, I’d be willing to sell my entry to the BTEpic or just eat the entry fee for Nationals. I’m not sure I can make it happen, though.

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