PRELUDE TO A “REAL ASS KICKING” – The 2011Berryman 36hr Adventure Race Report –> Part 1

**NOTE** This race report was written by Casey and is presented in black text, Luke’s comments are presented to you in Blue, and Bob’s commentary is given in Red.  Casey added a response or two in green.

The Berryman 36 hour adventure race has been part legend and part icon in my adventure racing world.  You see, this is where it all started.  This was the first Adventure Race Luke did, which would eventually lead to me doing my first adventure race.  Berryman was the mother of all races, a “real ass kicker”.  I’ve wanted to do this race since half way through my first adventure race, the Inaugural Truman Lake Adventure Race.  This was before Team Virtus even existed, and I was racing with Luke and Drew, who also happened to be Luke’s first Berryman partner 11 years ago.  I heard all about their adventures,  mishaps and everything they did wrong and would do differently “next time.”  Their discussion made me desperately want to complete the Berryman someday.  Last year I couldn’t find a partner for the 36 hour race.  I could have made the trip for the 12 hour kiddy race, but I had my heart set on the grown-up race.. the “real ass kicker”, the 36 hour version.

Bob: Kiddy race? MF’er, I’ll kill you.

Luke: I’m with Bob.  The 12-hour race is an ass-kicker as well.

Casey:  I am calling you out right here on this blog Bob.  Man up, train you butt off, and enter the 36 hour race next year. 

Bob: Challenge accepted.

The Berryman Adventure Race 2011

Earlier this year, I looked for a partner once again for the 36 hour race.  However, I was only having luck finding people willing to do the 12 hour version of the race.  This race must be a real S.O.B. since I couldn’t find anybody to race it with me.  Luke and Drew were planning on racing the 36 hour Berryman again in 2011 as a duo in defense of their divisional victory last year.  I guess I would have to wait another year before tackling this iconic race.  I didn’t give up all hope, but I had realistically explored all the possible partners I knew of.  I wasn’t too excited about racing for 36 hours with a stranger that I met online, so I decided I’d have to wait at least another year.

One day back in June, though, I received a call from Luke.  He asked me if I was still interested in doing the 36 hour Berryman.  I said “absolutely” and then  asked who I would be teaming up with.  He answered with himself, that he needed a partner to race with.   What happened to Drew?  Was he injured or was he just afraid to get his ass really kicked?  He told me that Drew had an untimely family conflict that weekend.  Luke knew I had been chomping at the bit to try the Berryman, so he called me.   That decided it.  Luke and I entered in the 2011 2-man division of the 36 hour Berryman Adventure Race.  Even though I felt like the last kid picked for dodge ball at recess, it was finally happening.  I was going to tackle the race, the myth, the legend, the real ass kicker…the Berryman Adventure.

Fat Kid Dodgeball

I then checked my calendar and realized that I would be spending the week before the race in Sin City with my wife, my best friend, and his wife.  We had planned to see if everything that happens in Vegas really stays there.  I considered cancelling the trip, but since it was all prepaid, I’d lose too much money.  I decided to take the trip, have a good time, eat, drink, and be merry, and then recover in the 6 days before the race.  I figured that no amount of debauchery and fun could possibly annul months of preparation.  Could it?  Well, time will tell.

Luke: I couldn’t wait to hear all of the stories from Vegas.  With 36 hours to race, I knew I was going to hear every detail about the tranny hookers, face tattoos, random babies named Carlos, a naked Asian man in the trunk of a car… Or was that a movie?

Casey:  I took it a little easier than that.  I did get to meet Sugar Ray Leonard in person.  I also got to paddle the Colorado, which was a blast (report in the works).  Oh yeah,  I did see a naked Asian man but he wasn’t in the trunk.

So, I spent the rest of the summer training my ass off and racing whenever and wherever I could get the chance.  You see, even though I was Luke’s second choice, his back-up if you will, I still didn’t want to let him down at the race.  I wanted to make sure I did all that I could in preparation for the big day.  I wish I could tell you that everything went as planned, that I was in the shape of my life, and that the Lionheart Adventure Race (our other “big” race of the year) was a great race and got me ready for the challenge.  Well, shit happens; I’m not as young as I used to be, I had a couple of injuries, Luke hurt his ribs again, and the Lionheart was disappointing (so disappointing that Luke is still working on the race report).  Overall, I put in a good summer of training and felt ready to race and hoped that I would not be the anchor of the team and let Luke down.  I had to prove myself worthy of his choice as a partner for the race.

RACE DAY – Pre-Race

Around 9:00 AM on race day, Luke and I were in his living room sorting through gear, checking required gear lists, and trying to decide what was and was not needed.  We planned on finishing packing and loading the van before lunch and then catching a quick nap (while Oat Boat took his) before we headed to Steelville for the race.  The nap was going to be much needed since the 36-hour-racers were led to believe the race was starting Friday night and there would be no chance for sleeping once we arrived at the BASS RIVER RESORT for check-in.

Packing gear for an adventure race

Otis helped us pack all of our gear... Minus the map case and map tool.

As we were packing, we realized that we were missing some very important required gear.  Luke, the nice guy that he is, had lent his map case and map tool to Bob, aka “Bobby Let Down” or “BLD” for short.  Not a big deal, right?  We’d just call him and ask him to bring it to the race and then we could catch our nap.  Well, BLD doesn’t believe in modern technologies and conveniences like deodorant, underwear, chamois butter, cell phones, or even land-line phones for that matter.  Who needs those silly training distractions that Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell came up with?  They probably invented them just to distract BLD from his intense training schedule.

Luke: In Bob’s defense, I didn’t actually lend the map case and map tool to him.  I just thought they may have ended up in his gear box from the last race, which, as it turns out, was true.  So it was actually my fault for waiting until the morning of the race to pack and for not knowing where my gear was.  However, not being able to get in touch with Bob was a huge pain in the ass.  I think we need to get sponsored by AT&T or something to get that man a phone.

Bob: For the record, I had the map and UTM tool ready at the campsite.

Luke:  That’s true.  You would not have let us down, so I’m not sure we can use your new nickname… But it just sounds so good!  I think we’ll keep using it.

Well, it appears that BLD did it again, he let us down.  We had no idea whether he would bring the gear to the race or even if he had it any longer (ask him what happened to the pack raft Luke lent him).  Our race was in jeopardy.  Was the inability to plot points or keep our map dry (not to mention a potential time penalty for missing mandatory gear) worth gambling on the likelihood that BLD would actually show up at the race with the gear we needed?  Would he come through for us this time or would history repeat itself?  As George Santayana put it in his often bastardized quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  Luke and I were able to remember the past and feared we’d repeat it if we left it in BLD’s hands.

Bob: What “history” was everyone afraid of repeating?

Casey:  Doesn’t this picture of Bob look like a Will Ferrell character?  Like maybe a gay lumberjack or a psychotic trapper about ready to break into song and dance or maybe the perfect cheer?

Bobby Let Down
BLD says, “C’mon, guys! Does this look like a guy that would ever let you down?”

Lumberjack Ferrell says, "You won't regret doing the 36 hour next year Bob! Ha...Ha...Ha...!!!!"

I told Luke that since I was planning on buying a larger map case anyway;  that we should just run out and pick one up just to be safe.  While we were at it, I could grab a couple of pairs of socks.  Luke then told me that the nearest place to find what we needed was about 4o-45minutes away at the Alpine Shop in Columbia, Missouri.  Seriously?  Isn’t Jefferson City the capital of the great state of Missouri?  You cannot buy a map case or Injinji socks anywhere in the capital city?

So we thought about it and mulled it over for a while as we packed up the rest of our gear.  If we made the quick trip to the Alpine Shop we’d have no opportunity for a nap.  However, if we showed up without the required gear we would have a bad race and have kicked our own asses before the event even started.  Could we trust BLD – the loveable, cuddle-able, forgetful Bob to come through and show up with Luke’s borrowed gear?  The answer was a definite, Hell No!  Not BLD.  So we threw Otis into the van and headed off to the Alpine Shop.  Upon arrival we quickly found what we needed.  I would have loved a chance to peruse around the shop and check all the gear out, but we had a race to get to.  We drove back to Luke’s house and stopped for some Lutz BBQ on the way (this is becoming a tradition for Luke and I whenever we race together in Missouri).

Lutz BBQ before adventure racing

Mmmmm... Pork steak sandwiches!

After we each ate half a pig, we finished packing and then loaded up the Virtus Van.  As we prepared to leave, the school bus pulled up to drop off my nieces. We said goodbye to Luke’s daughters and then hopped into the van and headed to Steeleville.  We both sighed with relief as we pulled out.  Somehow this always happens.  No matter how early we get to a race or plan to leave for a race, we always end up frazzled and short on time.  We hoped that we had everything and that the drive would be uneventful.

Bob: You know, I read a quote somewhere that said,” Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Our hopes were answered and the drive went smoothly.  Were the tides slowly starting to change?  We pulled up and were greeted by a wannabe-cop-park-ranger wearing a plastic badge who seemed to have a crappy attitude.  We received strict instructions about how to properly register our car at the main lodge.  As we pulled up we were greeted by BLD and his partner for the race, Travis Hammons (of Team Offroad Medics fame).  Luke and I quickly signed in and grabbed our sweet-ass Columbia fleece jackets and our swag bags and then headed back to our van.

As we approached the van, another Mickey Mouse Park Ranger stomped over to meet us and inquired in a short, irritated voice if we were the owners of the two unregistered vehicles.  Luke owned up to being the owner of the van.  We were once again instructed how to register the van and where we had to go to do so (that’s 5 two-lettered words in a row).  He also expressed the urgency with which we needed to do so.  As we walked towards the van, Park Ranger Mickey gave us the stink eye with one hand hovering near his revolver.

Fake cop at Bass River Resort

We managed to snap this photo as he was threatening us.

Well, since Team Virtus respects the law so much (and fake park rangers too) we all piled into the Virus Van to ride up together.  However, there were only 2 seats available in the van due to our bikes and gear taking up the rest of the van.  If it wasn’t so urgent that we get our van registered we could have taken the time to unload it a bit.  However, since the fate of the world seemed to depend on us getting the van registered within the next five minutes, we thought outside the box and found a way to get it done.

Luke drove, Travis made sweet love to my sexy bike in the back of the van, and BLD and I shared the front seat.  The problem with this is we both more than fill up the entire front seat by ourselves.  It was like trying to get a loaf of bread into your glovebox or 10 gallons of water into a 5 gallon container, it just doesn’t work.  We tried a couple different configurations and nothing seemed to work.  Time was running out.  We couldn’t fit side-by-side, front-to-back wasn’t an option either due to the kayak paddles in the floor board.  So, we decided the only way to get it done was for me to ride on BLD’s warm and comfy lap.  Well, since the world was going to end if we didn’t register our van within the next 3 and a half minutes, I took one for the world and hopped onto BLD’s luxurious lap.  Let me tell you, Bob did not let me down; it was an enjoyable ride down the road to the main lodge.

Casey reverse-cowgirl on Bob

Oh, what a ride!

Luke: I may have alternated between pushing the accelerator and the brake several times just to see the look on Bob’s face when this forced Casey to rock back and forth on Bob’s lap.  However, Casey seemed to rock back and forth a little longer than necessary each time I hit the brakes.  Regardless, it was fun to watch.

Bob: I’ve been to strip clubs where people paid money to get dry-humped like that.

Casey: I can’t believe that I didn’t make any tips.  I could have used them to pay for parking.

We arrived at the main lodge with 90 seconds to spare.  It looked as if the world wasn’t going to end, that we’d get the Virtus Van registered properly and promptly.  It looked as if Team Virtus was going to save the world once again (Bob and Luke saved it once from a demon by singing the greatest song in the world.  They even wrote a song about the experience, you should have them sing it to you sometime).

We waited in line hoping we’d make it in time.  I watched the clock on the wall as precious time ticked away. Tick…Tick…Tick…Would we make it in time.  Beads of sweat broke on our brows.  I checked the door expecting a grumpy ranger to come storming in to announce that our time was up.

Suddenly, fate smiled on us and we were waved over to another line and quickly explained our mission and its urgency.  They helped us and charged us $22 dollars to park there for the weekend even though we wouldn’t be camping.  Seriously?!?  I guess they had us by the short and curlys, didn’t they?  I mean, we had to leave the van at the resort, and they knew it.  We even could have had our own campsite for another $20.  Well,  we planned on racing the whole weekend and figured we might as well save our $20, so we decided to forgo the campsite.  We registered our van, purchased dinner tickets and headed over to the prerace meal.

We met up with our friends from Team Wahoo at dinner and had the opportunity to meet a real life  Facebook creeper.  We met Kim who was familiar with our team site as well as our Facebook page.  However, she hadn’t “liked” us yet (maybe she really didn’t like it, but she seemed to know too much to have just stumbled on the page once by accident).  Luke called her on it and she promised to “like” us as soon as she got home (we’ll see).  We had an enjoyable dinner and then headed back to Team Virtus/Offroad Medics Campsite.

Luke:  So Kim had seen our facebook page, read some of the stuff, and then decided NOT to like us.  Ouch that hurt.  That really hurt.  Since then, though, she has completely redeemed herself by not only “liking” us, but actually commenting on our facebook page.  So, we feel much better about ourselves now.

Casey:  If there are any other “Kims” out there, you know who you are, click on the little box and “like” our facebook page.

I’ll admit our site was pretty sweet.  We had our own picnic table, a huge grill (thanks to BLD), two tents, and a rain fly set up over the picnic table (set up in a very peculiar way that only BLD can do – it was lashed to his truck.  We unloaded our gear and caught up for a while as we tidied up camp and began to unload the van.  Before you knew it, it was time for the pre-race meeting.  It was here that I finally got to meet the original broodmare herself, “KAGE”  – formerly known as Kate or Super Kate (be sure to read her race report right here because it’s awesome), and her brother, Jim.

Kate and Jim

Apparently, Jim is from the future where they wear ties that light up.

We sat through the meeting, the raffles (none of us won anything, it must have been rigged), the free throw-outs (we were too lazy to get out of our chairs and try to catch anything), final instructions and guidelines, and then it was finally time to get our maps.  I headed up to the pavilion, waited in line, and grabbed our maps.  We were told we’d get the passport at the start of the race.  Luke and I headed back to camp to plot our CP’s, plan our route, and get our race faces on.  The race would be starting in just a couple of hours… at 11:00 PM on Friday night.

Luke: Man, that nap would have really helped us out…

Casey:  I agree.  BLD should have stayed up all night to make up for us not geting our nap. I really wWish we could have napped, even just a little…

To Be Continued…

**UPDATE** – Part 2 of the Berryman Adventure Race Report can be found right here.  Buckle up.  It’s gonna be a wild ride!

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Posted on October 6, 2011, in Epicnicity---yeah it's a word, Race Reports and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 54 Comments.

  1. One of the funniest things from that Friday night was the look on Bob’s face when I told him that you guys had to run to Columbia for the map case. And I’ve been in jails with less security than that campground.

    That picture of Jim and I is pretty much spot on for the weekend, too. Me, big smile, “so happy to be here!!!!!!” Jim, small smile, “why did I commit to spending 12 straight hours with her?????” Of course, neither of us look as happy as you OR as pained as Bob, so that’s something.

    • I just wonder why Casey didn’t ask you to stop on your way out of STL and pick up a map case and tool. I mean, you are already providing him with chamois butter.
      With respect to my little smile, have you seen me actually smile for a picture? I end up looking like Casey when he rides on Bob’s lap, only with a triple chin. BTW, I would recommend that the two of you (BLD and Dragon) utilize a 69 position next time you have to share a space. It is much more space efficient.

      • We didn’t stop on our way out of STL because we didn’t yet know that Luke’s gear was on loan. We found out that we were short on gear Friday morning while we packed up for the race. I guess he needs a better tracking system for loaning gear. Maybe a system a little like the one the library uses – a dewey decimal system for organization and a sign-out card for the loaning of gear. He even could charge a dime for every day that an item is returned late.

        I suggested the use of the “69 position” solely in the name space conservation. It is a great was to get alot of man into a little area. However Bob said no. I guess he was either too uncomfortable with his manhood, he couldn’t handle such a sexy butt in his face, or that it felt too much like cheating on Biner (pronounced Beaner).

        • Casey, I think you misunderstood Jim he meant we should have asked Kage to pick up a map case and tool on her way through ST. Louis (and it’s not like she needed her Chamois Butt’r anyway…).

          And btw, I don’t think it would have been your butt in Bob’s face had you employed a 69 position. I think you must be doing it wrong. I feel really bad for Lauren.

  2. Does it really count as security if the guy looks exactly like Zack Galiafanikis guest starring on Reno 911?

  3. I you are packing heat, you are considerfed security. The one guy did look just like Zack Galifianakis. I wish we would have snapped apicture of him to put in the report. Didn’t he tear your tarp down because it wsa tied to one of his trees?

    • Use spellcheck for the love of God!

      • Spelchech doznt korrecht phor gramatikul arrors, onlee phor werdz thatar mizpelt. Kan yew spelchech a pohst en t-he komment boxe?

        • Clearly you took enough time to look up how to spell “Galifianakis,” but you refused to take the time to spell check your comment. “Considerferd,” “apicture,” and “wsa” are not grammatical errors, by the way.

          • Bob had already spelled Galifianakis in the post above mine so I didn’t have to look it up. Plus, everybody knows how to spell such a common name. I went to school with 3 or 4 Galifianakises.

            • That’s not true. Everyone knows that the plural form of “Galafianakis” is “Galifianaki” just like the plural form of “hippopotamus” is “hippopotami.”. Nice try, though.

  4. Funny but untrue. We all know that using an “i” for the plural form of a noun only works for words ending in -us, not -is (as Galifianakis does). This isn’t even true for all -us ending nouns. However, if the root of the word is of Latin origin, then you drop the -us and add an -i for the plural form of the word.

    ex) Stimulus – Stimuli; Hippopotomus – Hippopotomi; Fungus – Fungi; Alumnus – Alumni

    It doesn’t work for -us ending nouns like –>

    Gus – Gi; Bus – Bi; Snuffleupagus – Snuffleupagi; Callus – Calli

    However, over time alternate plural forms of the noun become acceptable. For example, alums is now an acceptable plural form of alumnus.

    Nice try Captain Dragon.

    • So, you’re willing to take the time to Google all of that info so you sound smart, but you won’t take an extra 5 seconds to proof-read your comment so that our ravenous fans don’t have to try to figure out what you’re saying? This only further proves my point.

      And “Galifianakis” is pronounced with an “-us” ending and not an “-is” ending. According to grammarbook.com, “The plural form of a surname ending with an -us sound, regardless of spelling, ends with an -i as in hippopotami.”

      And before you go on some long diatribe trying to rebuke my argument, you should know that I completely made all of this up just to bother you. You’re welcome.

      • Sound smart? I am smart. I didn’t have to google anything. It’s just something that you learn while attending an Ivy League University.

        • Point to Casey for being smart.

          Point to Luke because, since his initial spellcheck comment, Casey’s spelling has been impeccable.

          But the win goes to the rest of us, because this conversation is hilarious.

  5. Am I the only one who read Casey’s comment and thought of this scene from Old School?

    • Yes, you’re the only one that thought of that clip, because there is no way Casey could ever be that eloquent in person (although it’s a great clip). Trust me… Casey did NOT learn any of that at an Ivy League University (thank God he left the name of the university out – I know they don’t want to be associated with Casey in any way).

      Besides, he was in the “Nutritional Sciences” program which everyone knows is the easiest program at said University (other than the Hotel Program). And you also need to trust me on this: An Ivy League School is not all that it’s cracked up to be.

      When Casey tries to sound like he knows what he’s talking about, he does a pretty good job as long as he can hide behind a keyboard and use Google to help him out with the big words. However, when he tries to sound smart in person, he usually comes off like his namesake, Ron “Anchorman” Burgandy, in this clip:

    • You just want to compare me to a Will Ferrell character because I said that you look like a Will Ferrell character. Still better than Anchor Man.

      • Huh. So all this time I took “Anchorman” as like the “anchor” of the team, the one that everyone can count on to keep things steady…so I couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t like it. I really need to watch more movies so I can keep up.

        • No the nickname “Anchor Man” is a double-entendre. They use it as a reference to the lead character, Ron Burgundy, in the classic movie Anchor Man (which I really enjoyed). They also use it, and what they really are implying by it is that I am the slowest (a.k.a. fattest) guy on the team. If they for a second meant “anchor” in any semblance of “anhcor” in the way you used it; it would be a tolerable if not a decent nickname. But in the last 15 months they haven’t once used it in this way once. In fact, you are the first one to make this connection.

          They often claim it is an Anchor Man movie reference but use it only when they imply that I am the slowest on the team (which in reality isn’t too often). I like Anchor Man for a nickname about as much as Luke liked Betty White or Kate liked Broodmare (which never was even used much). Great movie but not such a great nickname. Ron Burgundy is a freakin moron. This guy makes Navin R. Johnson look like Albert Einstein.

          In fact, I like it so little I would even rather be called Horton, in reference to an obscure reference that I once made about an egg toy three years ago. I need a nickname…How about you guys call me “Gonzo” (a reference that only Luke will appreciate). I didn’t have a nickname when I fought in a cage. Do I really need one to race with? I guess we can go with “Casey”.

          NICKNAMES OVERVIEWS

          Fast Pony – not bad, it came to me in a dream
          BLD – even better than Anchor Man
          Betty White – funny, disliked so it was abadnoned (at least by me – I do reserve the right to dig it up during all paddle legs of races)
          Broodmare – still better than Anchor Man (disliked, abandoned)
          Night Hawk – Cool Nickname (rarely used)
          Bandit – Bad ass, better than Night Hawk
          Dragon – Even Cooler Nickname
          Kage – Coolest Nickname
          Anchor Man – little thought put into it, need a name so we’ll force a stupid ass name on him that belittles his conditioning and effort as a teammate – not such a cool nickname.

          We tried “Anchorman” on but it didn’t really fit. We were forcing a square peg in a round whole. It fit about as well as Ote Boat’s (cool nickname) shorts fit on Luke. I guess we need a new nickname. Hell, I rather have a contest to give me a nickname. We could open submissions to TV blog followers for a couple of weeks and then have a vote on the top 3 nicknames (assuming each of you submit a nick name). If the loyal fans of TV picked my nickname, it would be better than the crappy ones my teammates have tried to give me. What do you think loyal readers – do you want a contest? Do you want to give me a cool-ass nickname (Luke – You want your ass to have a nickname? HaHaHa).

          Just my thoughts and some options.

          • To save you the effort of pointing it out – I did make a couple of typo’s. I am at work and was hurrying to get my post up. I appologize fo rmy errors. I even thought about logging into WordPress and editing the post, but I think you come to expect and appreciate my occasional typing error. Thank you for liking me and accepting my imperfections.

          • And I have only myself to blame for broodmare since I’m the one who came up with the word. At least it’s complimentary.

            And I blame all my typos on autocorrect, which rarely if ever gives me mistakes as funny as the ones you see online.

            • Awesome!!! I can’t believe you actually coined the word “Broodmare”. How did you come up with it? I wish I could come up with a cool word that people use on a regular basis. I never have know anybody that invented a word before.

              The closest that I have come to coining a word is a campaign that Luke and I started about 12 years ago to bring back the word “hump”. We used it on a regular basis and inserted into coversation whenever possible. We actually got people to start using it again.

              While we didn’t coin the word, we have brought one back from the brink of extinction and you hear the word much more today than you did a decade ago. You even hear it in a movie or an SNL skit once in a while.

              While the world has Kage to thank for expanding our lexicons with the woderfully useful “broodmare”, they need to thank Luke and me for saving and bringing back one of the old school classics -“HUMP”. I guess Luke and I are the Hump-savers, or Hump’s saviors, or the liberators of Hump, or maybe Hump’s Daddies.

              Lulke, we need to invent a cool wor dlike “broodmare”. I am busy at work today so when Otis takes his nap, could you invent a cool word for us? I’ll come up with one later in the week. It has to be better than Kage’s word.

  6. Ok, Mr. Sarcasm. I didn’t COIN the word, I just identified the closest thing I could think of for the female equivalent of stud.

  7. Wow. I can’t wait to listen to 36 hours of this shit next year at Berryman.

    • This has been great reading while I’m pooping (seriously, I’m getting ready to wipe in just a second).

      For what it’s worth, I think BLD is a much worse nickname than Anchor Man. It’s actually the opposite of what Bob is since he has never let me down. But it just sounds so awesome!

      And we actually came up with “Anchor Man” during my Betty White paddling leg where Casey was forced to sit motionless in the middle of the canoe, thus acting more like an anchor than a paddler. No one has ever questioned your conditioning.

      And I’m definitely down fir putting on a contest for the best nickname.

      • I was just bitching about the nickname. I know there were no ill intentions behind it. I just don’t feel it, it doesn’t work for me Maybe this makes it more of a reason to keep it).

        I guess that decides it, my nickname will be decided by our fans. However, I reserve the right to veto a name if you rally your friends and I get a name like “Furry Dog Shit.” I need a cool nickname that fits.

        I agree with the BLD not being true. I have now idea where it came from I just heard it at the race (I think you started it) and ran with it. Maybe we could try on BNLD –> Bobby Never Let Down?

  8. For whatever reason, I kinda like BLD. I truly have no clue why.

    My vote is for “Grammar-man”.

    • How about we keep the BLD and come up with a new meaning –> How about Big Loveable Dude? What say you?

      Luke – I am glad the posts heledp your BM. Was it enhanced by fewer grammatical and typing errors? I hope so, it makes the time spent rereading my posts before clicking post comment so worth it.

  9. Nicknames:

    *Hoss (and lest you think I’m being mean, http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hoss )
    *Spellcheck (lest you think I’m being nice)
    *(Silent) Cal (ironic, obviously, and kind of cool symmetry in that it has your initials like Kage has mine)
    *Anchorman (but in a positive sense, not the negative Ron Burgundy one)

  10. Did anyone else find it hilarious that Casey pointed out that he didn’t have time to correct typos by typing up an entirely different post to explain why he didn’t have time to correct them?

    Bob, maybe we can team up at Berryman next year that way you won’t have to suffer alone.

    I would stay away from being called hoss. While it can be a compliment, such as the context in which I’m sure Kage is using it, it can also be synonymous with cock and several other derogatory things.

  11. I have to say I really enjoy reading all of this banter back and forth. I don’t know what nickname I would give Casey cause I have only met him the one time, but with some thought I can probably come up with something. Bob, I guess since you have been called out and already committed to doing the 36 hr race next year I don’t know where that leaves me, right with you I guess since we are supposed to go back and redeem ourselves. Oh well plenty of time to figure that out. BLD is probably not that great of a name, because you are not really a let down. I mean it takes a pretty good team mate to wake up early and start cooking for the other guys that are still out racing and then douse them with champagne when they cross the finish line, but you did totally get us lost as soon as I handed the map off to you. =)

    • Hoss is a synonym for cock? And other deragatory names? Really? I had no idea. Does the slang have its origin in Bonanza?

      Do you know the theme to Bonanza has lyrics? I had previously heard the one that goes…I have a flair for women everywhere—Bonanza.

      Adam –> How is it that you know so much about vernacular for cock? I guess you are the team expert on that subject. What is Adam’s nickname?

      I googled it once to find the rest of the lyrics became privy to the knowledge that there are two versions of the song. I admit to regoogling it for this post, I did not commit both sets of lyrics to memory. Here they are, enjoy…

      Bonanza Lyrics and Theme

      Bonanza
      We chased lady luck, ’til we finally struck Bonanza.
      With a gun and a rope and a hat full of hope, planted a family tree. We got hold of a pot of gold, Bonanza.
      With a horse and a saddle, and a range full of cattle, how rich can a fellow be?

      On this land we put our brand, Cartwright is the name, fortune smiled, the day we filed the Ponderosa claim.
      Here in the West, we’re livin’ the best, Bonanza, if anyone fights any one of us, he’s go a fight with me, Bonanza.

      Hoss and Joe and Adam know every rock and pine, no one works, fights, or eats, like those boys of mine. Here we stand in the middle of a grand Bonanza.
      With a gun and a rope and a hatful of hope, we planted our family tree, we got hold of a potful of gold, Bonanza.

      With a houseful of friends where the rainbow ends, how rich can a fellow be?
      On this land we put our brand, Cartwright is the name, fortune smiled, the day we filed the Ponderosa claim. Here in the west we’re livin’ the best Bonanza.

      With the friendliest, fightingist, loving band, that ever set foot in the promised land, and we’re happier than them all.
      That’s why we call it Bonanza…Bonanza…Bonanza…

      Lyrics written by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans.

      Yes, there are two versions of the famous Bonanza theme song. The first gem was filmed for the pilot episode “A Rose For Lotta”. Thankfully, NBC executives nixed it before the episode aired, otherwise the Cartwrights would have been a one-evening wonder!

      The Ill-Fated Bonanza Lyrics For The Pilot

      (Little Joe solo) I’ve got a flair for women everywhere—Bonanza!
      (Hoss solo) Bonanza! (Barks and howls)
      (All three) I’m not afraid of any pretty maid–Bonanza! Bonanza!
      But when I give a kiss to any little miss, She’ll learn a lot from me

      (Ben solo) I’m not afraid of any pretty maid–Bonanza!
      (All three) Bonanza!
      When I give a kiss to any little miss
      She’ll learn a lot from me
      Hair of brown, hair of gold
      I’ll take what I see

      We’re not a one to saddle up and run–Bonanza! Bonanza!
      Anyone of us who starts a little fuss
      Knows he can count on me
      One for four, four for all
      This we guarantee

      We got a right to pick a little fight–Bonanza! Bonanza!
      If anyone fights any one of us
      He’s gotta fight with me!

      I know as you read the lyrics you sang along in yuor head to the theme song. I’ll bet Luke sang out loud and has comited at least the chorus to memory.

      As far as the nickname goes, I guess Anchor Man isn’t the worst name that I have ever heard. Plus, since I made all this fuss about it, it’ll probably stick. Unless one of you can come up with a better nickname.

      Luke–> you need to finish editing and inserting photos into part 2 of the post. I already have part 3-10 written and I am working on the final installment right now.

  12. Whoa, take it easy hoss, er I mean Casey. All I did was read through the definitions in the urban dictionary. While 99.9% of the population would think the term is a compliment, it is the .10% that will turn the name against you and at some point your team will probably be included in that .10% but we will probably do that with any name so I guess it doesn’t really matter.

    Maybe your nickname needs to be something that doesn’t really fit, like BLD is for Bob since he’s never let any of us down. It’s kind of like calling a really big guy tiny.

    • Adam’s nickname is “Prospector” as in he is a prospect to be added to the team once he proves himself worthy… Or I should say IF he ever proves himself worthy.

      Drew’s nickname is “Woogie” as in “I gotta go take a woogie.”

      I think Bob is stuck with “BLD” for better or worse.

      Kate is “Kage” or “KG.”

      I guess I’m “Dragon” or “The Dragon.”

      Casey is either Anchorman, Horton, Hoss, or something else.

      Rusty, Robby, and Darin don’t really have a nickname that I’m aware of.

  13. It looks like Anchor Man is going to stick. It’s probably more applicable now than before. So I guess you and I both have Will Ferrell characters as a nickname. It’s beter than Hoss or Horton, or Something Else.

    We could call Rusty “Kobayashi” for his skill in donut eating.

  14. I don’t know any of you guys, but I’ve read most of your posts and race reports, so my comments are at least around 20% legit. While I can’t recommend any nicknames, I will propose that you start referring to them as either code names or call signs. This elevates the badassedness of said names at least a few points so you can often get away with a weaker or less inspiring name.

    • Great insight Jim. I like your thought process. So you are saying that we need a nickname for the word nickname? Awesome! I can’t believe that one of us didn’t think of it sooner.

      You’re right, the word nickname sounds kind of weak and wimpy, not very Virtus like. I think “code names” or “call signs” is way manlier than “nicknames”. What do you think about handle, moniker, cognomen or sobriquet?

      I am not sure which synomyn is the manlinest but we definitely need to quit throwing around so many “nicknames”. What do you think we should use inplace of nickname guys?

  15. Some things to consider….

    Code name – suggests something is going on under the radar. Makes people want to ask questions like “Are those guys CIA?”

    Call Sign-This gives a military slant to them. This makes people ask “Are those guys with call signs going to radio in a predator drone strike on us if we pass them?”

    Handle- A bit truckerish. Reminds me of Smokey and the Bandit. Is that good or bad? I don’t know.

    Alias- Only good if your committing financial crimes.

    moniker- To scholarly sounding for your purposes.

    cognomen- Say it fast and you have Cockmen = No Go.

    sobriquet- French? I have admittedly known some hard Frenchmen, but in general it sounds a bit soft.

    I lean towards Call Sign. But my military past makes be biased.

  16. “You hear that? We usin code names.”

    I’ll let you guys get back to deciding on code names…and me back to work before the all seeing eye scopes my internet history.

    • Awesome clip Jim. Was your original post just a set up to get us to change “nickname” to “code names” just so that you could post that clip? If so, I am impressed as heck, great forethought.

      YOU HEAR THAT? WE’RE USING CODE NAMES!!!

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