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Monthly Archives: September 2012

And then there were 10

Scrolling through the archives of  all that is Virtusan, anyone would notice that Travis Hammons has unofficially been with TV for quite some time. He was the first person to sign up for the Cedar Cross, (which is a TV race no matter what Luke says), and has taken part in 2 of our 3 non-races. He’s been a major part of our annual assault on the Dirty Kanza, and after next weekend he’ll have raced the Berryman AR twice with my fat ass.  

His wife Crystal and son Ethan are always quick to volunteer at the non-races, and Crystal has achieved sainthood for putting up with all of Luke’s sexual harrassment when she’s pregnant. The fact that it took us this long to invite him “inside” is solid proof that we’re a bunch of assholes.  

Travis still has to learn the secret handshake and take the “initiation shot”, (don’t ask),  but after that he’ll be able to fire Adam on a whim and poke fun at Kate’s pending 40th birthday anytime he wants. I’m sure he’ll also have fun pointing out that we finished his team bio before her own. Not that she’s watching.. 🙂

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Berryman is almost here…and fun with hyperlinks

This needs to be on a belt buckle

Every year, hordes of AR badasses, (and people like us), flock to Southern Missouri for what has become the Midwest’s AR Superbowl: The Berryman Adventure Race. With names like Bushwacker, Alpine Shop and WEDALI, the list of registered teams is basically a list of “Who’s Who in AR.”   Speaking of team names, I’d have to say “Victorious Secret” is my current favorite. And I probably shouldn’t mention this, but it looks like “Awesome-Butt Girl” is racing this year.  Be excited, guys.

Drew riding Luke’s ass at Berryman

Bonk Hard Racing is a name synonymous with greatness, and everybody knows Berryman is the real deal.  Whether you win, lose or finish 2 hours and 45 minutes after the final time cutoff, you’re gonna go home with a sweet jacket and one hell of a campfire story. You’ll get your money’s worth, there’s no doubt about it.

And if your race doesn’t go as well as you’d planned, you can take comfort in knowing  there are coolers full of hot baked potatoes and cold beer waiting at the finish line.  Bonk Hard brings plenty of butter and sour cream, too. And seriously, what’s better than cold beer and hot potatoes after walking 13 miles in a pouring rain-storm?

Brooke and Ben. Trust me, they’re happier than they look.

Sadly, I don’t see the Snail Trail,  Hoosier Daddies or WTFAR listed anywhere, which is particularly disappointing since Todd won’t get to meet The Madness. Oh, what could have been..

Travis Hammons and I will be seeking redemption for our colossal failure at last year’s Berryman, and KG will be racing with her brother Jim as Team Hangover. I’m not sure of everyone else’s plans, but I’m fairly certain Adam has other plans.

So who else is going but hasn’t signed up yet?

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