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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Frozen Feet Half Marathon short and sweet

Since I don’t have the writing skills that my comrades do…here is the Frozen Feet Half Marathon report short and sweet… from my phone.

Where was everyone else?

Where was everyone else?

The race started for me in the 9:30 pace group.  I really didn’t know what my pace would be so I opted for a slower paced start group.   The first mile or so ticked off and I felt great.   We got to the first “trail” section and I found a burst of energy.   I was having a blast and had a smile on my face the whole time.   The tunes were jamming in my ear and my legs felt great.   People probably thought I was nuts as I passed them on the trail.

Elevation profile of the Frozen Feet Half Marathon

Elevation profile of the Frozen Feet Half Marathon

As we came out of the single track it started to rain but I really didn’t mind.   I had water and tunes and my legs still felt great.   Then came mile 7-9.

The gradual hill was fun for the first mile and sucked/blew balls at the end.  I was very happy when we got to the top.  There was an aid station there but thanks to the Ultimate Direction vest I was wearing I didn’t stop.   I passed so many people who stopped for water at the aid stations.

Easy access to water.

Easy access to water.

The downhill was a blast.   When I got to mile 11 I thought the worst was done, and I tried for a second gear.   But my lungs said, “No way, son!”  I struggled through that mile and again tried to reach for the second and third gear.  But the head wind and 12 miles behind said, “Nope…. not today.” I kept my sights on people ahead of me and pushed to the end.

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Clock Time is not accurate. Official Time was 1:52:11

My finishing time was 1:52 something which was around 8:34 pace.   Not bad but I feel I could have gone harder.

It was a great race and I would like to do it again.

Thanks to Kate, Adam, and Michelle for getting me out there and for just being awesome.

Kate's official time was 2:01:43

Kate’s official time was 2:01:43.  Doesn’t she look happy?

Adam set a PR with a time of 2:03:48.

Adam set a PR with a time of 2:03:48.

"The DARKNESS doesn't need darkness for slumber." - BLD

“The DARKNESS doesn’t need darkness for slumber.” – BLD

 

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Let’s Suffer Alone Together Again – Super Century 3

My taint already hurts as I type these words, and you know what that means. That’s right, boys and girls. The Super Century is here, so it’s once again time for us to put on our Bad Idea Jeans and destroy our taints in the name of stupid challenges.

You can find out how the Super Century all started right here, but if you’re too lazy to click that link, I’ll give you the general idea of what the Super Century is:

  • What: a trainer ride of at least a metric century – 100 km (or 62 miles if you don’t want to do any mathematicizing)
  • When: Super Bowl Sunday – February 2nd at 8:00 AM Central (a later start this year!)
  • Why: Because we’re idiots and doing dumb stuff is fun… Sort of. And after the ride, we can eat whatever we want during the big game and not feel guilty.
  • Who: Anyone who is dumb enough to do this, and if you’re reading this, then that means YOU!
  • Where: Anywhere you want.  You can do it alone or get together with a group.
  • Other Options: Ride a metric century outside (although that’s not nearly as stupid); Do 100 or more pull ups; Ride the trainer for 100 minutes; Do 1000 bodyweight squats; Run 100 minutes; Some other stupid idea.
  • Hashtags to Use: #SuperCentury; #BadIdeas; #MyTaintHurts

Be sure to hit us up on our facebook page and/or Tweet at us with the above hashtags so we can all “enjoy” everyone else’s suffering while we are deep inside our own pain caves.  Post up photos, jokes, rants, videos or whatever else will entertain us  and distract us from our own misery.

Also, I’d love to hear some recommendations on what movies or shows to watch during the Super Century.  Winning choices from the previous two years are Step Brothers, Race Across the Sky, Ride the Divide, and The Big Lebowski.  So please give us some ideas for what we should watch.

This may be a terrible idea, but it’s also great mental training for Cedar Cross, The Ogre, and of course Dirty Kanza.  C’mon… You know you want to do it.  So, who’s joining us?

An Ode to Adam

Does one of your teammates have a face that just makes you want to smash it with a fist? For us, that’s Adam.

Have you ever known a guy that just gets on your last nerve all the time? That’s Adam.

Would you rather ride 100km alone on a trainer staring at a brick wall than ride some sweet single track with a certain person? Yup. That’s Adam.

This is Adam.  See what I mean?

If you’ve been a Virtusite for more than a day or two, then you may know how much we hate our teammate Adam.  He has been fired from the team innumerous times, he is the butt of endless jokes, and he just can’t seem to do anything right.  Seriously, if you tried to make a worse teammate than Adam, you couldn’t do it.  He’s just that horrible.

However…

Adam Laffoon turned 40 years old today!

To honor him on his birthday, we thought we should set the record straight.  It seems like too many people don’t know how we truly feel about Adam. For those that don’t know how the non-stop firing of Adam got started, I’ll fill you in.

The one and only Tenacious D has a bit on one of their albums about firing a band member.  I don’t even remember when it was, but it was very early in Adam’s adventure racing career when Bob and I jokingly used the same bit and fired Adam from the team.  And for whatever reason, it stuck.

Ever since then, every time Adam does something wrong (or even when he does something right), he gets fired from the team.  Hell, even if someone else screws up, Adam is the one who gets fired.  And it doesn’t even matter if he’s never been re-hired to the team. He still gets fired.  It has become Team Virtus’s running gag and somewhat of a tradition.

But that’s all it is: A gag, a goof, a joke.  You see, we fucking LOVE Adam Laffoon.  And since he has officially become a distinguished gentleman at the age of 40, it’s about time the whole world knows how much we love him.

So happy together.

The truth is, Adam is a fantastic teammate.  He never complains (even when I get us lost… a lot).  He’s always willing to do what’s best for the team.  He obviously has a great sense of humor since he puts up with so much ridicule.  He’s strong in all disciplines, and he definitely makes us a better, stronger team. He’s a true Virtusan through and through.

Team Virtus Adventure Racing

Strength and Honor indeed.

As great as Adam is at being a teammate, he’s an even better friend.  I know that if I got stuck on the side of the road in a downpour at 3:00 AM and needed help, Adam would be there.  If I needed help moving, Adam would be the first to volunteer.  If I broke my leg and needed a sponge bath… Well, I’d probably ask my wife.  But you get the idea.  He’s the kind of friend we’re lucky to have.

I’m proud to call him my teammate and even more proud to call him my friend.

With that said, for Adam’s birthday, we all decided that he has been…

PERMANENTLY RE-HIRED TO THE TEAM.*

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen.  You read that correctly.  Adam is now, and forever will be, a Virtusan**  And nobody can take that away from him.***

This picture, like our team, wouldn’t be complete without Adam. We can’t quit you, Adam.

So please join us in wishing Adam a happy 40th birthday today.  Leave him a happy birthday wish as a comment here on the blog or on our facebook page.  Let him know that you, too, love him. Happy birthday, Adam!

*Unless he does something stupid again at which time he will be fired.
**And by forever we mean until he is once again fired.
***Except us.

MLK 3 is This Weekend- Oh Yeah!

You know you don’t want to be one of those people that misses out on this, so don’t do it! The third annual MLK ride is happening this Saturday, and the forecast so far looks great.  We had a blast at the inaugural MLK ride, and we had a great encore last year.

We’ll be meeting at the Berryman Campground Trailhead around 8:00 AM, and we’ll plan on rolling out around 8:30.  Ride a little or ride a lot.  Ride fast or ride slow.  I plan on riding a little and doing so slowly.  Then I’m heading back to the campground to fire up the grill.  I’m not sure if the Hoosier Daddies are returning with their smorgasbord of food and beer or not, but I’ll make sure there is a grill there.  We’d love it if you’d bring some meat to throw on the grill and/or a dish to share along with your own frosty beverages.

Whiskey on the Berryman Trail

Mid-ride whiskey break at the first MLK Ride.

Some people may camp the night before and/or the night after the ride.  Plan accordingly if that’s you.  More info can be found on the facebook event page, and if you need one, here is a good map of the Berryman Trail that shows many options to cut the ride short – courtesy of GORC.

This is a low-key, unsopported group ride.  No pressure to do anything other than have a great time.  Bring what you need, and we hope to see you there.

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