An Ode to Adam
Does one of your teammates have a face that just makes you want to smash it with a fist? For us, that’s Adam.
Have you ever known a guy that just gets on your last nerve all the time? That’s Adam.
Would you rather ride 100km alone on a trainer staring at a brick wall than ride some sweet single track with a certain person? Yup. That’s Adam.
If you’ve been a Virtusite for more than a day or two, then you may know how much we hate our teammate Adam. He has been fired from the team innumerous times, he is the butt of endless jokes, and he just can’t seem to do anything right. Seriously, if you tried to make a worse teammate than Adam, you couldn’t do it. He’s just that horrible.
Adam Laffoon turned 40 years old today!
To honor him on his birthday, we thought we should set the record straight. It seems like too many people don’t know how we truly feel about Adam. For those that don’t know how the non-stop firing of Adam got started, I’ll fill you in.
The one and only Tenacious D has a bit on one of their albums about firing a band member. I don’t even remember when it was, but it was very early in Adam’s adventure racing career when Bob and I jokingly used the same bit and fired Adam from the team. And for whatever reason, it stuck.
Ever since then, every time Adam does something wrong (or even when he does something right), he gets fired from the team. Hell, even if someone else screws up, Adam is the one who gets fired. And it doesn’t even matter if he’s never been re-hired to the team. He still gets fired. It has become Team Virtus’s running gag and somewhat of a tradition.
But that’s all it is: A gag, a goof, a joke. You see, we fucking LOVE Adam Laffoon. And since he has officially become a distinguished gentleman at the age of 40, it’s about time the whole world knows how much we love him.
The truth is, Adam is a fantastic teammate. He never complains (even when I get us lost… a lot). He’s always willing to do what’s best for the team. He obviously has a great sense of humor since he puts up with so much ridicule. He’s strong in all disciplines, and he definitely makes us a better, stronger team. He’s a true Virtusan through and through.
As great as Adam is at being a teammate, he’s an even better friend. I know that if I got stuck on the side of the road in a downpour at 3:00 AM and needed help, Adam would be there. If I needed help moving, Adam would be the first to volunteer. If I broke my leg and needed a sponge bath… Well, I’d probably ask my wife. But you get the idea. He’s the kind of friend we’re lucky to have.
I’m proud to call him my teammate and even more proud to call him my friend.
With that said, for Adam’s birthday, we all decided that he has been…
PERMANENTLY RE-HIRED TO THE TEAM.*
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. You read that correctly. Adam is now, and forever will be, a Virtusan** And nobody can take that away from him.***
So please join us in wishing Adam a happy 40th birthday today. Leave him a happy birthday wish as a comment here on the blog or on our facebook page. Let him know that you, too, love him. Happy birthday, Adam!
*Unless he does something stupid again at which time he will be fired.
**And by forever we mean until he is once again fired.
Posted on January 24, 2014, in Adam gets fired from the team, Adam is re-hired to the team, Adam masturbates, Adventure Racing and tagged Adventure Racing Teammates, Firing Adam, Re-Hiring Adam. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.