Tour of Sufferlandria: Stage Five (The One with the Wreck)

I donated not only “Holy Water” to Stage Five of the Tour of Sufferlandria, but some blood as well. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

We’re now just over halfway through the Tour. The toughest stages are still ahead of us, though. You can read about Stages One, Two, Three, and Four if you want to see how those went down.

This morning my legs felt pretty damn good. They were a bit heavy and tired, but this is probably as good as my legs have felt since right before Stage One. I chalk that up to good nutrition, adequate sleep, foam rolling, and perhaps even gaining some fitness and strength (although I expected those gains to come after a recovery week or two).

So, I was pretty stoked with how I was feeling. I was ready to crush the first mountain stage of the Tour, The Sufferfest’s “Angels 2015” video. The short warm-up went well. Then the 10 minutes of Over/Unders (1 min just over threshold followed by 1 minute just under threshold) hurt more than I thought they would, but I still felt really good.

Then the first 8-minute climb hit me. It started to hurt, but it wasn’t terrible. Toward the end of that first climb, though, I stood up -as instructed by the video – and started climbing hard. That’s when this happened:

crashing on the trainer at the Tour of Sufferlandria

No, I wasn’t on rollers. I was on a Kurt Kinetic Road Machine Trainer.

Let me preface this by saying this is completely my fault, and I am a dumb ass. My wife has asked me (several times) to move my bike over out of the way when I’m done so she’ll have more room to workout. You see, my Bike Torture Chamber (BTC) is also my weight room in the basement where she also trains. But I always seem to forget to move the bike over. That’s probably because I can barely stand up after each Stage of this Tour.

Last night, my wife moved the bike over while I was at work. Today, I didn’t even think about checking it again. I just hopped on and started riding. Well, apparently, the bike was not completely secure in the trainer. Again, completely my fault for not checking it before the ride.

As I stood toward the end of that first climb, my bike fell out of the trainer and I went down hard (TWSS). I didn’t see it coming at all, and I was shocked when it happened.

How in the hell did I just crash on my fucking trainer?!

As evidenced in the photo above, my elbow took the brunt of the fall, landing on my weight bar next to me. I jumped up and paused TrainerRoad and the video. Then I tried to throw my bike back on the trainer, and that’s when I noticed that my bike did not go unscathed. A water bottle cage was destroyed.

destroyed water bottle cage

Honestly, I’m not sure how this bottle cage became so mangled.

I shoved the bottle cage up into the one in front of it so it would be out of my way. That’s when I noticed I had also broken a spoke. Sonofabitch! I quickly wrapped the broken spoke around the one next to it.

Broken spoke at the Tour of Sufferlandria

Yes, if you look closely through the spokes, those are drops of blood on the floor.

I turned the crank a few times and noticed the wheel was a bit wobbly. Damn it! But this was the effing Tour of Sufferlandria! So I hopped on the bike and continued the Stage. My elbow hurt a bit, but that pain was soon drowned out by the pain of the next two brutal climbs. They hurt so good.

Part of me worried that this ride wouldn’t count since some might argue I had a “break” during the video. But then I asked myself: Did I suffer? And my answer to that is: Hell yes, I suffered! So in my book, it counts.

angels 2015 at the Tour of Sufferlandria

Blue is the target, yellow is what I actually did.

Now, I’ll celebrate by filling up my brand new Championship Mug that just arrived for winning my 2014 Fantasy Baseball League. Mmm mmm! Beer is gonna taste so much better out of this bad boy!

fantasy baseball beer mug trophy

I have not yet received word from Robby or Adam about how their Stage 5 went. They both had to work today, so they probably have to do it later tonight.

Until tomorrow, suffer on, my friends.

(Update: Stage Six is done.)

About Lukas Lamb

Husband to a wonderful wife, father to 4 incredible kids (3 daughters and 1 son), adventure racer, mountain biker, runner, lifter of weights, reader of books, and lover of life. He can be found on Google+

Posted on January 28, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I can only imagine the hilarity of the crash. I guess you should start wearing a helmet on the trainer now.

    • I’m sure it would have been funny to watch, but it was terrifying when it happened. I remember thinking as I fell, “What is happening?!” I couldn’t figure out how I was falling at all.

      And instead of my elboe, had I hit my head on the weights, it could’ve been pretty bad. Maybe I should start wearing a helmet.

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