Category Archives: Bob’s recruits

Hangin’ with the boys

When I was growing up, my dad always told me, “Don’t sweat the small shit.” I may have taken those words a bit too seriously, because the list of things I take seriously is pretty darn short. So while most people are worried about their careers, money and whatnot..I’m more worried about whether or not I have enough candy in my truck in case I run into these two:

Cool sunglasses and cycling caps..check and check

Cool sunglasses and cycling caps..check and check

Being a fun uncle is serious business. You’ve gotta constantly be looking for new ways to deliver the perfect combination of wedgies, swirlies, candy, leg punches, hugs and more candy. These two were riding Strider bikes before they were out of diapers,

and this last Christmas they got some “big bikes.” The promise was made that after they got better acquainted with the new bikes, I’d  take them on a legit mountain biking trip. When that day finally came, I don’t know who was more excited.. them or me. Ok, it was me.

Bug juice: Check gummi bears: check Excitement building

Bug juice: Check
gummi bears: check

Arriving at the trail, we ran through the motions of pumping up tires and donning helmets. I only brought one Camelbak, and that’s a mistake I won’t make twice. They fought over the damn thing all day. It made for some cute photos, though.

Serious business

Serious business

Since I didn’t really know what their skill level would be, we started out on an easy downhill into the field.

It was obvious this was too easy for them, so we moved it on down the trail. I’d ride ahead and wait, and they’d come flying along right behind me. The boys were riding well and I was laughing constantly. We were all having a great day.

Luke "ridin' heavy" with the Camelbak

Luke “ridin’ heavy” with the Camelbak

Of course, there were a few wrecks:

But I also got some really great action shots and video. Here’s a pic of Wyatt carving a left turn


Most of the hills were too steep for them to pedal, but they didn’t seem to mind pushing to the top as long as there was a downhill on the other side.

And of course, the topic of riding without helmets was brought up. As you can clearly hear in the following video, that idea was shot down.

More crashes and lessons in hiding pain

And what father wouldn’t love to get this video while he’s at work?

As the afternoon wore on, I was blown away (and slightly afraid) at how much faster the boys were riding. I mean, I don’t wanna be one of those people who thinks their nephew is the next big thing, but look at the speed this 5 year old is holding through the turns…

My face literally hurt from laughing and smiling so much that afternoon, but the true hilarity ensued when I taught these fine young men an important life lesson every uncle should teach his nephews….

…..and if that doesn’t make you laugh…you’re probably an asshole.

I’ll probably think about that trip when I’m on my deathbed. What a great day.

And then there were 10

Scrolling through the archives of  all that is Virtusan, anyone would notice that Travis Hammons has unofficially been with TV for quite some time. He was the first person to sign up for the Cedar Cross, (which is a TV race no matter what Luke says), and has taken part in 2 of our 3 non-races. He’s been a major part of our annual assault on the Dirty Kanza, and after next weekend he’ll have raced the Berryman AR twice with my fat ass.  

His wife Crystal and son Ethan are always quick to volunteer at the non-races, and Crystal has achieved sainthood for putting up with all of Luke’s sexual harrassment when she’s pregnant. The fact that it took us this long to invite him “inside” is solid proof that we’re a bunch of assholes.  

Travis still has to learn the secret handshake and take the “initiation shot”, (don’t ask),  but after that he’ll be able to fire Adam on a whim and poke fun at Kate’s pending 40th birthday anytime he wants. I’m sure he’ll also have fun pointing out that we finished his team bio before her own. Not that she’s watching.. 🙂

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