Category Archives: CAC

The Hardest CAC …….. Post I’ve Ever had to Write

It is with great sadness that I must inform you that we will not be providing you with free CAC. We originally planned to pleasure all of you with our CAC on April 5th, but that just isn’t going to happen.

Crying over our CAC

Sorry, James Van Der Beek. No CAC for you.

Whether you believe it or not, Bob and I have poured a crap-ton of work, not to mention our hearts and souls, into working on our CAC last year as well as the year before, the Deuce 3 years ago, and the First Team Virtus Non-Race the year before that (clearly we didn’t come up with good names for our Adventure Non-Races until the second year).

We’ve spent a lot of time away from our families as well as quite a bit of our own money to give you the best, free non-racing experience we could.

And we’ve loved every damn minute of it.

But we just don’t have time to get our CAC polished and ready by April 5th. Bob is now living in Ellisville and remodeling his house there, and my life is crazier and busier than ever with kid activities and other miscellaneous miscellany. It’s been really difficult for us to put our heads together and really work hard on our CAC.

Mmmm...

Bob likes to use all of his senses when working on his CAC. This photo was taken on a scouting trip from last year, and it was not staged. For real. Bob just really enjoys tubed meat.

 

So we’ve decided to postpone the CAC this year. We did not come to this decision lightly. We toyed with the idea of changing venues. We thought about using a permanent Trim course at Rock Bridge or Rockwoods Range to save us some time and hassle. We even considered doing an Urban Adventure Non-Race. We’ve thought about a lot of different ways we could provide you with our CAC again this year.

But in the end, we figured no one would want a soft, lifeless CAC, and we don’t want to offer you anything half-assed. And that’s exactly what it would have been if we had tried to put it together by April 5th.

We sincerely apologize. We hope you don’t hate us. And we hope we haven’t messed up anyone’s plans.

We’re still considering doing the Cinco-De-CAC-O (it would be our fifth year!) sometime later this year. If you’d be interested in that, please let us know in the comments. If there’s not much interest, we won’t waste our time.

We’ve also considered just doing a campout at Pine Ridge or somewhere else the weekend of April 5th just to get together and ride/drink/eat half-priced-meat together (Maybe at Two Rivers?). So let us know if you’d be down for anything like that as well.

Again, we apologize. We hope you can forgive us. We hope you don’t hate us forever.

Seriously. Please let us know if you want to see our CAC at a later date and if you’d want to get together somewhere the first weekend of April. Do it! Leave us a comment.

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CAC2 Gear List

I don’t think I’m being modest when I say the CAC2 has the best orienteering leg of any non-race we’ve ever put together. I can pretty much guarantee everyone, even the seasoned racers, will be impressed with what the CAC2 has to offer. And as much as I’d love to post photos of all the cool stuff you’ll see…I don’t want to ruin the surprise.

Rock arch at the CAC2 adventure non-race

That’s a picture of my little brother on a “not so recent” CAC2 scouting mission. Despite the obvious badassery going on in this photo, I can assure you that the picture does absolutely no justice to either the coolness of the rock arch he stands upon,  nor does it depict the deathplunge he would’ve experienced if he’d taken one step backward off of the rock. The CAC2 is supposed to be fun, but there are times when the CAC2 will demand your ultimate respect. Checkpoints have been placed in areas that showcase the land’s natural beauty, but also expose you to a bit of danger. This shit is serious business. (sometimes)

In that light, we’re going to require that you bring a bit of mandatory gear.

Individual Gear for the Entire Race:

  • Backpack with at least 50 ounces of hydration (bladder, bottles, old Boy Scout canteen, whatever)
  • Rain Jacket
  • Blaze-orange vest or scarf or hat (anything blaze-orange) to keep hunters from shooting your ass
  • Wool or Synthetic Stocking Cap
  • Whistle
  • Headlamp w/ fresh batteries
  • Camera (not exactly mandatory, but we’d LOVE to see some photos of our CAC in action)
  • Food

Individual Gear for the Bike Leg:

  • Mountain Bike
  • Helmet
  • Rear-Facing Red Blinking Light
  • Spare Tube

Team Gear for the Entire Race:

  • Compass
  • Fully-Charged Cell Phone in waterproof container (make sure it’s charged!)
  • Small First Aid Kit
  • Iodine Tablets or other water treatment method
  • Waterproof Map Case

Team Gear for the Bike Leg:

  • Bike Tool
  • Pump or Inflator
  • Patch Kit

Other Stuff I would bring:

Lawn chair, beer, various forms of pork, a positive attitude, DOG SPRAY, wood splitter, WTFAR repellent, a change of clothes, some clean shoes, Mayonnaise and/or Ranch Dressing for Brian of WTFAR, toilet paper, sunscreen, camera, extra batteries, a blow-up doll for Adam, extra bbq sauce, lip balm, coffee, tent and sleeping bag, extra compass.

That should cover just about everything for now.  Stay tuned for an update on the Gravel Grinder we’re doing on Sunday after the CAC2.

Who Wants More CAC?

For those of you that missed it out on our CAC last year (read Kage’s report here, and our race report will be done… Um… Sometime in the next 10 years), you should be ashamed.  The first CAC proved to be much longer and harder than anyone (Bob and I included) could have imagined.  While our CAC might have worn people out, everyone left with smiles on their faces, completely satisfied.

WTFARTR at the CAC Adventure Non Race

Well… MOST people had smiles on there faces.  Screw you, Todd.

The CAC will rise again, and trust me…  If you love having a good time, then you want to be all over this CAC.  This year’s CAC will be held (get it?) on April 6th, and HQ will once again be at the Pine Ridge Campground near Ashland, MO.  Camping the night before and the night after is free (because we have so much clout in Missouri), and last year it was ridiculously fun.  Just ask anyone who participated in the first CAC, and they’ll tell you that the camping was as much fun as the non-race itself.

The Carnage At the Creek Two (CAC2) is free (other than roughly 10 bucks for the map), and it will be roughly 6 hours.  Solos, duos, trios, quadros, or whatever kind of team is allowed. You will be hiking, trekking, running, mountain biking, hike-a-biking (maybe), orienteering, and you’ll possibly face a mystery event or two.

Row Boat at the Adventure Non Race

Dave man-handled the rowboat by himself. What a stud!

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), the CAC2 will have no paddling event…

OR WILL IT?  MuwahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!

No, it won’t actually.

Even without a paddling leg this year,  our CAC will still be (ahem) unbeatable.  We will have many more details to come, but we need to know VERY soon if you will be joining us or not.  The sooner you let us know you’ll be there, the more likely we’ll have a map for you.  So let us know ASAP!

You can comment below, or you hop on the CAC facebook even page right here.  So please don’t be shy.  You know you’ll regret missing this when you here everyone raving about how much they enjoyed our CAC.  Don’t be a fool.  Come join us!

CAC Attack!

As Bob noted in his last post, the best adventure non-race in the world, Carnage at the Creek (CAC), will happen again in 2013.  We aren’t quite sure on the date yet, but we’ll keep you posted on that front.  What I want to share with you today, though, is pretty disturbing.

It has come to our attention that our beloved CAC had come under a vicious and unprovoked attack.  No, I’m not kidding.  And I know what you’re thinking:

But how could this be?

Who would possibly attack a CAC that has given so many people pleasure?

I thought everyone loved CAC.

Well, that’s what we thought too.  But take a look at this:

Clearly, Todd from Whiskey Tango Foxtrot has some issues with the 2012 version of the CAC.  I’d like to defend my CAC since it is so precious to me.  So please watch the video above and then read my point-by-point rebuttal below.

Point 1: The Hike-a-Bike Section – This section may not have been “fun.”  I can admit that.  However, there are always parts of every adventure race where you think, “This sucks.  I’m never doing this again.”  But then you look back at it later and realize it was awesome… Unless you’re a wimpy Packers fan like Todd is.

Point 2: Getting Lost On the Way to the Race – Out of all the racers, volunteers, and super sexy race directors – over 30 people in all – only two people got lost.  Can you guess who they were?  I’ll give you a hint: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.  That’s right, Brian and Todd. (And I love the fact that Todd risked his life for this shot.)

Point 3: Local Turkey Hunters – Well, there isn’t much to say about this one.  Yes, it was turkey season.  Yes, there was one disgruntled hunter.  But he was probably more irritated with the 200 Bushcrafters in the area that weekend.  Besides, it’s not like anyone was shot.

Point 4: Ticks in MO – Missouri isn’t the only state with ticks.  Maybe Todd had more than his fair share of ticks, but that’s understandable.  Everyone knows that Ticks are attracted to high levels of estrogen. (Todd’s rockin’ a sweet hat, by the way.)

Point 5: SuperKate Sleeps Like a Baby – Okay, I can’t really say anything about this one either.  I’ve heard her snore, and it’s amazing that such a delicate, little flower could produce such a horrendous sound.  Perhaps she’s developed sleep apnea in her old age.

Point 6: Proximity of Jefferson City to Iowa – Nothing I can do about this one.  Maybe if someone put on an adventure non-race in Iowa, we would travel to that hell-hole.

Point 7: Snakes – It’s common knowledge that snakes, like ticks, are attracted to estrogen.  (A very nice touch sitting on the toilet in this shot.)

Point 8: Bad Singletrack – I don’t get this one.  I think the singletrack is easy and fun, but I guess I have a basic understanding of how my bike works and at least a modicum of athletic ability.

Point 9: Half-Priced Beef – I ate this questionable meat, and it truly was delicious.  And I didn’t get sick.  Man up, Todd. (That brownie looked delicious in this scene.)

Point 10: Bob Jenkins and Lukas Lamb are Sick SOB’s – What can I say?  We tried to emulate the sickest, most sadistic race director we know – Gerry Voelliger.

Point 11: Smelly Rowboats – Coming from someone who lives in the middle of Iowa, a state most well-known for the stench of pig poop, this makes no sense.

Point 12: ??????? – There was no point #12, but don’t think I didn’t notice that hideous Cheese Head in this shot.  You’ll pay, Todd Garrison.  Oh, you’ll pay.

Porn Stache

I think this weak attempt at a stache is Todd’s way of compensating for lacking in other areas.

Obviously, all of Todd’s issues with our CAC are unfounded.  For the rest of you, don’t worry.  The CAC will be back sometime in April (probably) 2013.  It will be bigger, longer, harder, and, as Todd said, maybe even bushier.  Please don’t listen to Todd.  He clearly has a case of CAC-envy.

 

 

 

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