Category Archives: Group Rides

OMGNAPNA! (OMG, Not Again! Please Not Again!) – The Super Century 2015

It is with a sense of deep, dark dread that I inform you the Super Century is once again taking place next week on Super Bowl Sunday. I’ve waited as long as I could to post this, hoping that I would come to my senses and stop this madness. But alas, we are all going to suffer together apart once again for the 5th annual Super Century.

Robby is thrilled about another Super Century.

For those of you who’ve no idea what I’m talking about, let me just say that it might be the worst idea we’ve ever come up with. Actually, my stupid brother, Casey, came up with it, and then all of us took it and ran (or rode) with it. If you want to read about how the very first Super Century got started, you can do so here.

Here’s the basic info:

Who: You and your stupid, sadistic friends if you’re stupid gluttons for punishment like us

What: A metric century (62 miles) on the trainer

When: Super Bowl Sunday, February 7th, anytime you want really, but most of us will be starting around 8:30 AM

Where: Wherever the hell you want to suffer

Why: Because we’re stupid and also so we can eat whatever we want guilt-free during the Super Bowl

If you are dumb enough to join us in this terrible idea, be sure to hit us up on the book of faces and the twitterverse. And don’t forget to use #SuperCentury and #MyTaintHurts in your posts so we’ll see them. That way we can all suffer together apart virtually. It’s fun… Sort of… But not really…

Robby, Adam, and me at the end of the Super Century 2015 and the Tour of Sufferlandria 2015.

And for those of you who are certifiably insane, you can also take part in the Tour of Sufferlandria 2015 which starts Saturday the 6th. It will add a lot of pain and sufferng to your whole week, and it will make the Super Century even worse, if that’s even possible.

Robby, Adam, and I took part in the Tour of Sufferlandria last year, and you can read about the first of nine stages right here. And if you don’t want to read about all nine stages, you should at least take a look at my sweet bloody elbow from crashing on my trainer.

Last year, the Tour of Sufferlandria ended on Super Bowl Sunday. This year, however, the Tour starts the Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday, so the Super Century coincides with the second stage of the ToS. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse, but I’m sure it’s not good either way.

So let us know if you want to join us, you psycohpaths. Let’s suffer together.

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Cinco de MLK

The 5th annual MLK Ride is indeed happening again. It seems impossible, but every year this thing just keeps getting bigger and better.

If you have no idea what the MLK Ride entails, please go here for year 1, here for year 2, here for year 3, and here for last year’s ride.

Date: Saturday, Jan 16th

Time: Meet at the Berry-Man Campground Trailhead (Google Map here) at 8:00 AM and roll out as a group at 8:30 AM. Faster riders wanting to do two laps (or more) might leave earlier. I am not one of those riders.

What to Bring:

  • Yourself
  • Your bike
  • Any and all gear, food, and water you’ll need (this is a self-supported ride on a fairly rough trail – you’re on your own for the most part)
  • Some food to share
  • Something to drink (beer and/or whiskey is almost always the right choice, but homemade wine is also a good choice)
  • Dry, warm clothes for hanging out after the ride (possibly the best part)
  • Camping gear if you plan on camping the night before and/or after

What Not to Bring:

  • Douchebags
  • Assholes
  • A shitty attitude

Team Virtus will bring stuff to fire up the grill along with some meat and Kate’s cookies (right, Kate?) to throw on the grill – yes, they’re super delicious that way. And maybe even Chuck will bring his super secret Chili (right, Chuck?) with Cheeze-Its thrown in.

We probably won’t have enough meat for everyone, so please bring enough food for your group. Bringing a side dish or dessert to share would be super cool. And of course bring your own beverages.

Some of us will be camping Friday and/or Saturday night. And some of us will also be riding the totally rad Joe Dirt Ride at 12:00 pm on Sunday to round out a great weekend on bikes with friends.

It works out perfectly, really:

Camp, drink, and laugh our asses off Friday night. Get up and ride Berryman with a big group. Eat, drink, and laugh some more after the ride. Camp, eat, drink some more. Get up and get a good breakfast at the Spare Rib Inn, and then go ride bikes some more on Sunday.

So let us know if you’d like to join us. You can comment below or hit us up on the facebook event page.

 

Ridin’ for the Cup #1 – The Cock Gobbler Ride

I’ve regretted coming up 6 or 7 miles short of a metric century at the Rocheport Roubaix a few weeks ago. The race was 55 miles, but the weather was bitterly cold – like in the teens with high winds kind of cold. My feet were frozen, and I was exhausted at the end of that race, and the warm cafe was too inviting, so I didn’t go out and ride the extra mileage to get credit toward earning my Cup O’ Dirt.

So, I really wanted to ride a metric century (62 miles for those of you who don’t want to Google how far a kilometer is) as soon as the weather turned halfway decent. But we weren’t just blessed with halfway decent weather last weekend. The weather was simply superb for early March.

Travis, Bob, and Jim joined me in Mokane to do the Cock Gobbler Ride. – 53 miles so we were planning on adding some Katy Trail miles to the end of the ride to hit 62 miles total. We met at the Katy Trail parking lot and took an obligatory pre-ride photo.

Cup O' Dirt Ride 1

Four manly men ready to ride.

It was sunny but cool at the start of our ride. The first climb had us plenty warmed up. The gravel was super smooth and hardpacked, and the wind was at our backs. It just couldn’t get any better.

We soon found ourselves close enough to the local Casey’s General Store, so we obviously stopped for some delicous breakfast pizza, Spike Energy Shots, and other beverages and snacks. I may or may not have spilled Travis’s Monster drink, and I may or may not have sucked the spilled beverage off the sidewalk. No photos were taken, so you’ll have to decide for yourself.

Casey's pizza on a gravel ride

Where was everyone else on this gorgeous day? We may never know.

We rolled out of the Casey’s parking lot onto the pavement for a short stretch before we got back onto the gravel. There were some good climbs, lots of laughs, a few deep conversations, and several pee breaks. See for yourself…

jim at the top of a climb

Jim at the top of the first big climb.

Travis peeing

Travis, quit playing with your dinghy!

Shortly after this pee break, we found the remnants of an unlucky victim of last year’s Cedar Cross. We stopped for a moment of silence (and to take photos of course).

Cedar Cross Victim on a bike

This poor rider. At least he died riding The Cedar Cross.

One other, uh… “highlight” of the ride was seeing a beautiful creek from a rural bridge. The breathtaking view brought us an immense feeling of peace and serenity. All felt right in the world until  Jim said, “What the hell is that?!” We all turned to look, and we saw this:

what is that?

What is that? Hmm…

At first we thought it was just some trash, maybe some old house insulation thrown over the bridge. But that wasn’t it. It took us a minute to realize what it was. Here’s a closer photo for you. See if you can tell what it is.

dead pigs in a creek

Once you can tell what it is, it’s pretty gross. You can click on the image to enlarge it if you’re into that kind of thing.

Look closely and you can see a tail, an ear, and at least two snouts of pigs along with intestines and other various organs, skin, and what not. Nasty. And this is a good reminder of why we should ALWAYS treat any water out of a creek, river, pond, or lake before drinking it.

After that, we were of course hungry, so it was great to find ourselves at the Hams Prairie Store, home of the world’s best hard salami sammiches. Or so I’ve been told. I have yet to experience the deliciousness, and since I had forgotten to bring any money, this ride would be no different. But Bob bought himself a sammich and shared it with me, and it truly was delicious. For those of you riding The Cedar Cross, make sure you get there early enough so they don’t run out of salami like they did when I first rode Cedar Cross!

Hams Prairie Store

The only place in town.

Before long, we made it to the nuclear power plan near Fulton. Again, those of you who are riding Cedar Cross should be sure to stop for a photo here.

Riding near the nuclear power plant

This is one of the highlights of the ride.

Sadly, Adam and Robby couldn’t join us even though they both wanted too. Adam had to work, which is only a marginally acceptable excuse. Robby had hernia surgery the day before, so that’s a little more understandable. The first thing Robby said as he awoke after surgery was, “Ask the doctor if I can ride tomorrow.” And that, ladies and gents, is why he is the mutha-effin’ Darkness!

The Darkness Road

Sadly, we couldn’t find “The Darkness Road” so this will have to do.

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure and sheer joy of riding with Bob Jenkins, he often does some cool shit on a bike. Most of it scares the hell out of me, and I’m too chicken to even attempt it. He can stand up on his bike while hauling ass down a bumpy gravel road with his arms out wide à la Jack Dawson doing his King of the World bit in “Titanic.” Not that I watched that chick flick. And I definitely didn’t cry when I didn’t watch it.

Here is a series of photos of Bob “Jack Dawson” Jenkins working his magic. And yes, this is on pavement, but I assure you I have seen him do this flying downhill on gravel roads. And if you’re reading this, Mama Jenkins, I’m totally kidding. Bob would never do such a thing.

@bob.jenkins.7505 doin' what he does.

A post shared by Łuke Łamb (@lukaslamb) on

Toward the end of the ride, we were supposed to ride the Katy Trail for several miles. That wasn’t gonna happen. With the snowmelt from earlier in the week, the Katy Trail was way too soft. It was like riding through two inches of peanut butter, and I say that from experience.

Soft Katy Trail

This. Just. Sucked.

So we altered the route, adding more gravel with stupid headwinds. The last few miles hurt, but we made it the full 62 miles. My first metric century of the year! Woo hoo!

Jim and Travis had other obligations, but Bob and I grabbed some beer and wings and headed over to The Darkness residence to surprise Robby.

beer with The Darkness

The Darkness will be back on the bike soon, bitch!

It was great to see Robby after the ride. He was moving a little gingerly, but he’s one tough SOB. Every once in awhile, he’d just punch himself in the stomach to show us how many he is. Very impressive.

Sights were seen, farts were ripped, and many miles were ridden. And one century toward my Cup O’ Dirt is in the books.

Plan Accordingly – MLK 4 is Happening

In case you missed any (or all) of the Martin Luther King (MLK) rides in the past, I wanted to get this out there with plenty of time for you to do whatever you have to do to you make sure you’re there this time. This is a ride you won’t want to miss. Don’t believe me?

Start of the MLK mountain bike ride

The start of the MLK3 mountain bike ride last year.

MLK1 surpassed all our expectations and become quite a party thanks in large part to our friends The Hoosier Daddies. The second year was just as much fun if not more fun, again thanks to the Hoosier Daddies and everyone else that showed up. Then last year at the MLK3 ride, we were without the Hoosier Daddies, but we still made it a helluva good ride/party.

Here are the deets:

Date: Saturday, Jan 17th

Time: Meet at the Berry-Man Campground Trailhead (Google Map here) at 8:00 AM and roll out as a group at 8:30 AM (faster dudes and dudettes wanting to do two laps might leave earlier – I am not one of those dudes).

What to Bring:

  • Yourself
  • Your bike
  • Any and all gear, food, and water you’ll need (this is a self-supported ride on a fairly rough trail – you’re on your own for the most part)
  • Some food to share
  • Something to drink (beer and/or whiskey is almost always the right choice, but homemade wine is acceptable)
  • Dry, warm clothes for hanging out after the ride (possibly the best part)
  • Camping gear if you plan on camping the night before and/or after

What Not to Bring:

  • Douchebags
  • A shitty attitude
  • Any music by Nickelback

As mentioned above, some fast riders do two laps. Most riders only do one lap. And then there are others (myself included the last 3 years) who only do part of the trail. There are plenty of places to shorten the route so you can get back to the party earlier. Here’s some info with a link to a map of the Berryman Trail if you’re unfamiliar with it.

Team Virtus will be bringing supplies to fire up the big grill at the campground along with some meat and other food. I’m sure Kate will bring some of her delicious cookies, and if you’ve never had a freshly grilled cookie, then consider your life incomplete. We won’t have enough food for everyone, so please bring something to add to our pile of food. Also BYOB.

Grilled Cookies... Mmm....

Grilled Cookies… Mmm….

Leave a comment below if you’d like to join us. Or you can go to the event page we created on the book-of-faces and let us know if you’ll be there. Or if you’re on Attackpoint, you can see the event right here. Feel free to invite anyone you want as long as they aren’t a-holes.

Rumor has it that Bob Effin Jenkins will even be there. I have my doubts, though, since he has missed all 3 MLK rides so far. (**Edit: Bob was actually at the very first MLK Ride, but he has missed the last two).

This is one of my favorite rides of the year with some of my favorite people. Hopefully you’ll join us too.

The 3rd Annual MLK Ride

If you missed the 3rd annual Martin Luther King ride back on January 18th, I really feel sorry for you. You missed out on a great day. Below you will find a brief write up of what went down, but trust me when I tell you that it was 412% more awesome than this will show.

MLK 3 Ride at the Berryman Trail

Above is the group that stuck around for a photo at the start of the ride. There were a few people who rolled out earlier for TWO laps at Berryman and one guy who even ended up doing THREE laps! There were a few people who showed up later and did a lap as well. We probably had 20 – 25 people all together.

Since I’ve put on a serious “winter coat,” I only planned on doing 5 – 10 miles before heading back to the trail-head to fire up the grill. My friend Rhonda had only ridden single track once or twice before, so she wasn’t planning on doing a full lap either. So we decided to stick together at the back of the pack.

Rhonda on one of the climbs.

The trail was in great shape, and although it was chilly to start, the weather was pretty damn nice considering it was mid-January.

The riding was fun, but my lungs and legs hated my fat ass. So I talked Rhonda into bailing around the 5 or 6 mile mark. We cut out on a jeep road that would lead us to a gravel road leading back to the trail-head. There was one frozen puddle across the jeep road that was a bit tricky.

Icy crash on the Berryman Trail

This photo may or may not have been staged. It may or may not have actually been me who crashed.

We hopped out on the gravel road and made it back to the trailhead with no more issues. We changed into dry clothes, and I fired the grill up.

But first I tapped the keg (courtesy of Dave Baettie via Team TOG – HUGE thanks to him/them). I only tapped the keg so early to make sure it would be ready for the rest of the riders when they rolled in – of course I might have had a sample or two. Besides, the keg had my name written all over it.

Blue Moon Keg at the MLK ride at the Berryman Trail

It’s mine. All mine!

After the grill was good and hot I kicked off what has become an MLK tradition: Grilled Chocolate Chip Cookies! Kate brought a bunch of cookies, and when grilled over charcoal, they taste just like they’re fresh out of the oven with just a hint of smokiness.

So.

Damn.

Good.

If you’ve never done this, do it the next time you grill and thank me later.

There was a plethora of tubed meat, beef patties, cheeses, side dishes, desserts, and ice-cold Blue Moon. Everyone brought a little something to share, and for that, I thank you all.

BBQ after the MLK bike ride at Berryman Trail

Food always tastes better after a good ride.

As the riders started to roll in, everyone gathered around the grill, eating, drinking, and making merry while trying to stay warm. Here are a few photos of the festivities:

Berryman Trail Group Ride

L to R: Becca, Steve, Dave (or Jim) Chuck, Josh, and Rhonda.

Helmet hair at Berryman

Blue Moon Dave rockin’ some serious helmet hair.

Group at Berryman Trail

L to R: Kate, Me, Becca, Phil, Chuck, Caleb, Rhonda, Dave, and Dave (Jim).

Mo and some of the other Team Red Wheel guys were there, but this is the only photo I got of any of them. I think the rest were always at the keg.

Mickey Mouth was there too! This ride was good training for the Super Century… Oh wait… Mickey never did the Super Century.

Everyone was having a grand time after the ride, but then I turned around to see a truly horrific sight. As my eyes fell upon the ghastly scene, it felt like someone kicked me in the nards and punched me in the face simultaneously.

How could anyone, especially someone I considered a close friend, do something so terrible?

Please be warned that the photo below is difficult to look at. If you are sensitive, you may want to scroll right past it. You’ve been warned.

Virtus Jersey on the ground

This poor, poor Virtus Jersey was abandoned by Kate.  She left it to die alone on the cold concrete. This is blasphemous!

Kate tried to hide the fact that she had disgraced our team, but I’m a photo-ninja. I was too quick for her, and I got the above photo. Then I snapped one of her trying to hide the evidence:

Kate with her disgraced jersey.

What’s that behind your back, Kate?

Many miles of single track were shredded, lots of stories were told, much bread (and wind) was broken, gallons of beer were consumed. It was another fantastic ride and barbeque.

Our brethren from the Hoosier Daddies  were dearly missed. They were the ones who truly made the 1st MLK and 2nd MLK rides/parties a smashing success. Hopefully, they’ll once again join us at MLK 4 next year, and hopefully so will you. And maybe someday, our very own Bob Jenkins will make it to the MLK ride… maybe.

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