Category Archives: Rusty barfed

O Captain, where art thou?

This week’s Virtuesday ride was one for the ages, but Luke will never know why… because he wasn’t there. Technically he’ll know since I’m posting about it, but I’m really trying to lay on the guilt here, so work with me.

Things started out innocently enough. Robby was kind enough to bring his extra cross bike so Rusty woud have something a little more gravel-suited than his regular steed. And believe it or not,  Adam loaned him a pair of bike shoes. Now, don’t let yourself get to thinking Adam is any less of an asshole, because I also brought Rusty a pair of shoes. Clearly, Adam loaned his shoes out first to make himself look like a better friend than me. What a dick.

Rusty gets a feel for the cross bike while Adam's inferior bike shoes lay in my driveway.

Robby informd me that Luke would not be joining us this evening, and panic washed over me. We were going to be riding off into the great unknown without our leader, and that was some scary shit. What if someone bonked or didn’t have an extra tube or something? Luke always saves our ass when things go bad. This was adulthood at its most terrifying. All we could do was hope for the best.

Clearly terrified

 Tonight’s ride saw us riding in 60 degree-ish temps on dry gravel and zero wind. Everyone was in good spirits, so the ride  got off to a fairly brisk start. There were very few cars, no dogs and it looked like the ride just might be a success. Then it happened.. we stopped to take a leak and noone said, “Quit playin’ with your  dinghy.” Luke always says that. It felt really weird to urinate in total silence, especially with the horses staring at us…..judging.


The pace was good, and Rusty seemed to be doing really well on the Singlecross. Robby and I were both feeling great, so we made sport of racing one another up nearly every climb. It was a bit exhausting, but it felt good to sprint it out. We made it to the National Forest trailhead in what felt like record time, and next thing you know we’re dodging cow patties and living the good life. Maybe we could survive without our leader after all?

Right about that time, Rusty says he needs to get off the bike and take a leak. No big deal, right? Wrong. Next thing you know, we see this:

A bit of Taco Bell finds its way into the National Forest

Between heaves, all he would say was, “This wouldn’t have happened if Luke was here.” Poor guy. (I bet Luke feels terrible.) We  took some time to regroup and get Rusty’s stomach back in order before continuing the ride. We could only assume it’s what Luke would have done. When we were ready to go, we got a bit of proof that Rusty felt better.

Photo does no justice to vomit pile

After that it was all smooth sailing. The moon was so bright we didnt even use our headlamps on the way home. This was truly a kickass ride.


The last leg of the ride was over before it started. As we found ourselves at the final climb, Robby and I engaged in what I like to call a silent race. We started out riding side-by-side, then started pushing the pace.. bit by bit. No words were spoken, but we both knew what was about to happen. Next thing you know, we’re both foaming at the mouth riding as hard as we can until the other guy taps out. A toothy grin was across my face the whole time. I hadn’t cranked it out like that in a long time, and it felt really good.

The incomparable Robby Brown (pre-sprint)


A ride like this had to be capped off with some sort of fine beverage, so we made way to Casey’s.

This beer sucks, but its only 55 calories

And there you have it. Another Virtuesday ride is in the books and we all made it home alive. Hopefully you and Luke can make it to the next one:)

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