Category Archives: Volunteering

The Vicarious 2013 Castlewood Adventure Race Report

I have a confession to make. I’ve given up endurance sports.

For now anyway…

With endurance sports like Adventure Racing, there really isn’t an off-season. You can train and race year-round if you want. But I decided to take break, an off-season if you will. That’s right. I haven’t gone for a run or been on my bike in roughly two months. Maybe more.

***Cue the shrieking, alarms ringing, babies crying, and kittens dying***

“Uh… What?!?! You don’t ride year-round?!?!”

Many people may consider this sacrilege, but I assure you I haven’t lost my mind. I simply needed a break from all of the long-distance stuff. So I’ve been lifting weights four times a week, doing some high intensity intervals here and there, and eating a LOT. Yes, I’ve gained weight. I’m okay with that. I wanted to get stronger, and I wanted to do something else for a little while. And I’m having a blast.

When it was time to sign up for the Castlewood 8-Hour Adventure Race, I knew I was out. But I also knew I would hate sitting at home, trying to get updates on how my teammates were doing. So my lovely wife agreed to volunteer with me at Castlewood. It would be the maiden voyage into volunteering for both of us, and I was excited she was coming with me. We dropped our amazing kids off at a friend’s house for the weekend, and we were on our way.

The Lamb Clan

There was some confusion as to whether we were meeting at the Alpine Shop or at Bob’s house, but eventually we all ended up together. Then it was time for some carb-loading, because, you know… Volunteering is very strenuous. Becca and I would need our glycogen stores topped off, so we all went to Dewey’s.  It was excellent, and we all laughed our asses off.  The quote of the night was from our very own Bob Jenkins to the waiter: “Nope.  It’s too late.  You hurt my fat heart.”  It was hilarious.

Carb loading before Castlewood Adventure Race

My wife “accidentally” cut me out of the picture for no reason at all.

After stuffing our bellies, we went back to Bob and Cara’s new house (which is awesome by the way). Bob thought he would need a refresher course on plotting UTM points, but it’s kind of like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it. Well, that’s what I’m hoping anyway since I haven’t been on a bike in forever. Anywho… After Bob plotted the points with no problems, the team put together a stategery for the race.


Nice bracelet.

Honestly, it was very strange to be observing instead of participating in the pre-race whirlwind: plotting, route-planning, gear packing, gear list checking, repacking, making fun of Adam (well, I might have participated in that last one). We all went to bed way too late, and the alarm went off way too early. Bob’s new house is very close to race HQ at the Wyman Center, which worked out great for this race. Even though we only had a ten-minute drive or so, we were still running late. Shocking, I know. But at least we were all organized and prepared come race morning:

Packing for Adventure Racing

Team Virtus will soon offer a race-planning seminar so you too can organize like this!

We made it to the Wyman Center right on schedule which was 20 minutes after we had intended. We dropped the bikes off outside, and then we found our guest racer, Jim Smith of Monster Bicycle Company and Team TOG fame. How he was talked into tarnishing his reputation by racing with Team Virtus is beyond me. The race started at 7:00 AM with teams heading out on foot for a short orienteering section. Becca and I were given our orders, and we headed to the canoe put-in where racers were expected to arrive around 8:00 AM. There was only one problem, though:



The road to the river access was closed and chained. I called Gary, the race director, and left him a message. I was a little worried about missing the first racers, and since I had the puncher the racers needed to punch their passports, we really needed to be there. So in true adventure racing-spirit, Becca was ready to hop the fence and walk a mile or so in 10 degree weather. She didn’t even hesitate. So I threw some snacks, water, and hand-warmers into my pack, and away we went. Fotunately, we didn’t have to climb the fence. We simply walked down and around the fence and through some brush to the other side.

Somewhere under all of those layers is a future adventure racer... It's also my hot wife.

Somewhere under all of those layers is a future adventure racer… It’s also my hot wife.

About three-quarters of the way to the boat ramp, we met a park ranger driving toward us in a truck. He asked if we were with the race, and we informed him that we had to park on the other side of the fence. Well, it turns out that the gate was unlocked after all. It just looked like it was locked with the chains wrapped around each other. Well, damn. I felt like an idiot, but it was clearly all part of my plan to give Becca a taste of the “expect the unexpected” nature of adventure racing.

I continued to walk since I was close enough to the put-in by now, and Becca hitched a ride back to the Virtus Van. I didn’t get another hundred yards before Gary pulled up and gave me a ride the rest of the way to the boat ramp at Checkpoint 13.  Becca soon joined me after parking the Virtus Van.

It was cold.  Very cold.  Like 10 to 15 degrees cold.  We set up shop on the boat ramp and waited.  We were layered up, and we had plenty of chemical hand-warmers. Every 30 – 45 minutes I would start up a new batch of hand-warmers so that we always had a fresh supply to keep our hands and feet warm.  It worked fairly well for the most part, although our toes got pretty cold from time to time.

At about 8:10 or so, the top four or five teams came in within a minute or two of each other.  They all looked great as they quickly got their bikes in the canoes and canoes on the water.  Other teams started to come in, usually in waves of 3 or 4teams at a time.  It was a bit hectic as Becca handed each team their new UTM coordinates to plot and I punched their passports and wrote down their times. Our friends from Team TOG, Dave and Justin, came into the CP a little after 9:00.  And it was great to see them.

Foggy glasses and an awesome ice beard.  Badassery at its finest.

Foggy glasses and an awesome ice beard. Badassery at its finest.

And then at 9:15, we saw them.  Our beloved team came into CP13, and they looked like they were having fun (shocking, I know).  They said they had stayed pretty warm, and Bob had apparently been nailing the navigation – which nobody other than Bob ever doubted.  Bob quickly began plotting the points using the UTMs we had given him as the rest of the team got their gear and bikes into the canoes.

Bob had his thinking helmet on to plot the points.

Bob had his thinking helmet on to plot the points.

Other teams were coming and going – punching their passports, plotting UTMs, packing bikes into canoes, carrying canoes…  It was chaotic, but it was really cool to watch.  Once Bob had the points plotted, they were ready to get on the river. Playing the “Girl-Card” that Robyn Benincasa has talked about, Kage did nothing while the guys carried the canoes to the water.

Even Adam helped.

Even Adam helped.

Becca and I both shed some tears, forming tear-cicles on our cheeks, as we watched our team push off into the frigid, unforgiving waters.  We weren’t sure if we’d ever see them again.  Well, that’s not true.  But we knew how cold that paddle was going to be. I didn’t envy them at this moment.

Canoeing with Bikes

Bon voyage!

Other teams came through our CP.  One team got there, punched their passport, and turned around to ride back to Race HQ.  He said, “There’s no way in hell we’re getting on that water.”  Two or three other teams never made it to CP13 before deciding to call it quits.  Eventually, there was only one team left that hadn’t yet made it to CP13.

We said good-bye to our new friend and race photographer, Travis Irvin, but not before he helped me carry a lone canoe up from the boat ramp.

Here is our best Zoolander Blue Steel Pose.  Don't hate us because we're beautiful.

Here is our best Zoolander Blue Steel Pose. Don’t hate us because we’re beautiful.

The last team out came in around 10:45.  That was about an hour after all other teams, but these guys really embodied the spirit of adventure racing.  They lost their passport on the first orienteering section, so they had to go back and get a new passport and then do most of the first O-course all over again before moving on.  But they didn’t quit.  They just kept going.  That’s pretty damn cool if you ask me.  Big kudos to those guys.

On the way back to Race HQ, Becca and I grabbed some delicious soup from Panera Bread (although near St. Louis they’re still called St. Louis Bread Co.).  Man, that soup hit the spot!  We could feel it warming us from the inside.  Then we went back to the Wyman Center to wait for teams to come in, plot more points for an optional orienteering section, and then finish. Becca and I were in charge of the food tables, carrying the pizzas, labeling the pizza boxes, removing empty boxes, etc.  Teams came in, warmed up a bit as they plotted points, and then headed out to get more CP’s.  We were happy to see Team Virtus roll in.

Still having fun.

Still having fun.

Bob plotted the extra points as the others filled water bottles.  It seems when it’s really cold, even the insulated bottles won’t keep your water from freezing.

A homemade frosty.  This one is water-flavored.

A homemade frosty. This one is water-flavored.

As Bob finished plotting the last few CP’s and planned a route to get a couple more optional CP’s, the rest of the team warmed up, ate some food, and got ready to head back out in the cold.  Kage even had time to be a perv and sneak into the Men’s restroom.  Here is proof:

Kage in the Men's Room

Yes, that’s the men’s room. At her age, though, she gets confused sometimes.

It was really great to be at the finish to see the fast teams finish as other teams were still coming in only to go back out for more CP’s.  And it was great to hear different race stories from our AR friends, new and old. I was a little worried that our team might miss the cutoff, but I shouldn’t have been.  With ten minutes to spare, the team came running down the hill, literally leaping over a railing as they made their way to the finish line.

Team Virtus finishing the Castlewood Adventure Race

A great finish.

I couldn’t be prouder of the team.  They ran a really great race.  Congrats, guys.  Big thanks to Bonk Hard Racing for letting us help out, and an even bigger thanks to my amazing wife, Becca, for volunteering with me.  It was way more fun having her there with me. And no Virtus race report would be complete without at least one Maw Maw joke.  So here she is after the race:

Circulation is often hindered once you reach a certain age which can leave you feeling cold.  A shawl is a must-have item when you're this age.

Circulation is often hindered once you reach a certain age.  This can often leave you feeling cold. A shawl is a must-have item, and Maw Maw never leaves home without one.

You can check out some more photos below, and you can also read Kage’s race report right here.  And don’t forget that you can keep up with us on our facebook page and/or twitter.

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Backstage at Checkpoint Tracker Nationals

It’s no secret I’ve had a bit of an extended learning curve when it comes to navigating. From the first time I tried to fly solo right up until my most recent debaucle,  it simply hasn’t been been one of my strong-points. At all.

Leading up to Castlewood, I knew I needed to figure some things out. What better way to do that than volunteer at Checkpoint Tracker Nationals?  It was a guaranteed way to see how the elite teams perform on raceday, (and get some free stuff). I spent the weekend mingling with friends new and old, and had the good fortune to be placed at a Checkpoint working alongside Scott Fredrickson of Team Bushwacker. I was excited, to say the least.

Since racers wouldn’t get to our CP for an hour or 2, I got to hang out and watch the start of the race. I found out a few of the teams have some pretty strange pre-race rituals. Take for example, our good friends from Forum Dental, (who kicked major ass at this race, btw):

**Masturbation joke here**

 Not long after that, I saw a man who was clearly not dressed to run through 23 miles of thorns:

Wow. I hope he had some pants in that pack.

Here we see Alpine Shop and Wedali waiting to take off.

WEDALI in green, Alpine Shop in red

When the race started, those racers tore out in a hurry. It looked like WEDALI took the lead immediately, but it wasn’t too long before this solo adventure racer/karaoke master came running by:

Ladies and gentlemen....Kelly Sumner!!!

After the race start, Justin Cook and I jumped in the truck for the quick drive to our volunteering stations. We were stationed close together, so carpooling made sense. I dropped him off at this spot, it was absolutely beautiful.

A guy could get real comfortable in a spot like this.

Then it was off to my assigned spot. Scott and I had never met, but as I was parking the truck I felt like I could hear his thoughts:

"Oh shit, not this guy"

 Scott and I made friends quickly, and I was blown away at his willingness to pass on a gold mine of AR knowledge. Seriously,  I couldn’t take notes fast enough will all the things he was telling me. We had a great time. We worked a CP that teams had to visit before and after setting out the first o-section. They had 10 hours to finish this section, and Gary Thompson, (the course designer), informed us there was no way to complete it without trekking for “AT LEAST” 23 miles.  Wow.

Before long, the racers started coming in. WEDALI had a pretty serious lead, but Alpine Shop showed up looking fresh and strong. In this photo I think Carrie is actually timing how long it takes Doug to piss. She was definitely in charge.

I found it interesting that he wasn't using a mapcase.

Learning all this new stuff was making me hungry, so I decided to dig into the only food I had brought along: A giant can of Pork ‘n” Beans and a bag of fritos. Only problem was, the can-opener on my fancy bike tool turned out to be a piece of shit. It broke almost immediately, and things started looking pretty grim. Luckily, we found a pair of Vise-Grips. Crisis averted.

And people call me stupid..

 Well, look who it is!!

Kelly Sumner shows us where Adam can have a seat

 The day wore on and all of the teams finally made it into the 1st O-section. Scott continued pouring knowledge into my brain and the world was right. Day became night, and teams slowly began to make their way back from the trekking leg. WEDALI finished the 23-mile o-course in about 6 hours. They were kicking the shit out of everybody out there.

Our CP was a good place for people to change clothes and fill up with water, so it wasn’t uncommon for someone to drop trou right in front of us. At one point,  I’m sitting there minding my own business and I notice these guys are acting funny… just kind of staring into the room behind me.


  I turned to see what they were gawking at:

Yeah, he must work out

 The next day, Scott asked if I wanted to help him clear the course. I tried not to shit my pants with excitement, then changed clothes as quickly as possible. This was why I came out here, and I was PUMPED.

Still not a cloud in the sky

It was a good time, and I learned even more as we trekked thru the woods. Scott explained to me the benefits of the thumb compass and how much easier it is to “thumb” the map while you’re using one. You can see what I’m talking about in the photo below:

With the thumb compass, you dont even need to break stride. You just look down at your thumb, which you are already using to keep track of your location on the map.

Then he started to show off a bit,  trotting effortlessly across this tree:

He almost makes it look easy, and yes, he is jogging

 I tried it, but didn’t have quite the same finesse. I wound up having to dry-hump my way across, but thankfully there were no splinters waiting for me.

It just doesn't look as cool

About an hour later, Scott decided we’d split up to get the last 2 CP’s faster. We agreed if I was not back in 45 minutes he’d come looking for me. When we parted ways, I became mildly lost for a few minutes and had to regroup. But then…

Trust me, I was just as surprised as anyone.

When I got back to the truck, Scott wasn’t back yet and that mean it was time to celebrate. Justin had foolishly left his cooler in my truck, so I reached inside to grab one of his beers….. but instead found this:

Oh Justin... you should've known better.

Next thing you know, I’ve got a belly full of Irish whiskey and I’m riding shotgun next to “Special K”  from Orange Lederhosen in a U-haul truck loaded down with about $50,000 worth of mountain bikes.

**Pause for a moment and let that picture burn itself into your mind. Seriously, I couldn’t make this up if I tried.**

Him, Derrick, Justin and I were transporting bikes back to race HQ.  It was a lot of work, but we got them all hauled back to HQ just in time to almost be late for the award ceremony/dinner. The food smelled amazing and tasted even better. Most everyone was dressed nice, so it was a little awkward being all sweaty and dirty, but then I realized these people are adventure racers… and they couldn’t have cared less. It was a great way to end a great weekend.

“Fine dining” with the Golden Girls and Kelly

Checkpoint Tracker Nationals is going to be in West Virginia in 2012, and we’re gonna do everything we can to put at least one Virtus squad in this kickass race. I’m just not sure how it could be any more fun than it was in 2011. I could not have had a better time.

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