As Bob noted in his last post, the best adventure non-race in the world, Carnage at the Creek (CAC), will happen again in 2013. We aren’t quite sure on the date yet, but we’ll keep you posted on that front. What I want to share with you today, though, is pretty disturbing.
It has come to our attention that our beloved CAC had come under a vicious and unprovoked attack. No, I’m not kidding. And I know what you’re thinking:
But how could this be?
Who would possibly attack a CAC that has given so many people pleasure?
I thought everyone loved CAC.
Well, that’s what we thought too. But take a look at this:
Clearly, Todd from Whiskey Tango Foxtrot has some issues with the 2012 version of the CAC. I’d like to defend my CAC since it is so precious to me. So please watch the video above and then read my point-by-point rebuttal below.
Point 1: The Hike-a-Bike Section – This section may not have been “fun.” I can admit that. However, there are always parts of every adventure race where you think, “This sucks. I’m never doing this again.” But then you look back at it later and realize it was awesome… Unless you’re a wimpy Packers fan like Todd is.
Point 2: Getting Lost On the Way to the Race – Out of all the racers, volunteers, and super sexy race directors – over 30 people in all – only two people got lost. Can you guess who they were? I’ll give you a hint: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. That’s right, Brian and Todd. (And I love the fact that Todd risked his life for this shot.)
Point 3: Local Turkey Hunters – Well, there isn’t much to say about this one. Yes, it was turkey season. Yes, there was one disgruntled hunter. But he was probably more irritated with the 200 Bushcrafters in the area that weekend. Besides, it’s not like anyone was shot.
Point 4: Ticks in MO – Missouri isn’t the only state with ticks. Maybe Todd had more than his fair share of ticks, but that’s understandable. Everyone knows that Ticks are attracted to high levels of estrogen. (Todd’s rockin’ a sweet hat, by the way.)
Point 5: SuperKate Sleeps Like a Baby – Okay, I can’t really say anything about this one either. I’ve heard her snore, and it’s amazing that such a delicate, little flower could produce such a horrendous sound. Perhaps she’s developed sleep apnea in her old age.
Point 6: Proximity of Jefferson City to Iowa – Nothing I can do about this one. Maybe if someone put on an adventure non-race in Iowa, we would travel to that hell-hole.
Point 7: Snakes – It’s common knowledge that snakes, like ticks, are attracted to estrogen. (A very nice touch sitting on the toilet in this shot.)
Point 8: Bad Singletrack – I don’t get this one. I think the singletrack is easy and fun, but I guess I have a basic understanding of how my bike works and at least a modicum of athletic ability.
Point 9: Half-Priced Beef – I ate this questionable meat, and it truly was delicious. And I didn’t get sick. Man up, Todd. (That brownie looked delicious in this scene.)
Point 10: Bob Jenkins and Lukas Lamb are Sick SOB’s – What can I say? We tried to emulate the sickest, most sadistic race director we know – Gerry Voelliger.
Point 11: Smelly Rowboats – Coming from someone who lives in the middle of Iowa, a state most well-known for the stench of pig poop, this makes no sense.
Point 12: ??????? – There was no point #12, but don’t think I didn’t notice that hideous Cheese Head in this shot. You’ll pay, Todd Garrison. Oh, you’ll pay.
Obviously, all of Todd’s issues with our CAC are unfounded. For the rest of you, don’t worry. The CAC will be back sometime in April (probably) 2013. It will be bigger, longer, harder, and, as Todd said, maybe even bushier. Please don’t listen to Todd. He clearly has a case of CAC-envy.
Get excited, everybody. The CAC is only a few short days away! What’s the CAC, you ask? Well, if you don’t know what the CAC is, then you really need to get out more. You can get caught up here, here, and here. All caught up? Great. Let’s continue.
Bob and I have been working really hard on the CAC. Day in and day out, we’ve been slaving over this CAC. Why? Well, to bring you the best non-racing experience ever, of course!
Scouting for and planning the course for this year’s adventure non-race has been a ton of fun. Setting the course up, however, has been a struggle. It took us just a wee bit longer than we thought it would. Bob and I were in the woods for seven days straight just placing all the CP’s in the correct locations. We battled heat, rain, cold, hunger, thirst, wild animals, and each other over the last week. Don’t believe me? Well look at this:
Now do you believe me? After all the hard work and several near-death experiences, we only have a few control markers left to hang, and we’ll take care of those in the next day or two. And in case you missed it on our facebook page, the control markers will look like this:
After we were finally done, Bob and I finally got to reward ourselves with a long-awaited packrafting trip down storm-swollen Cedar Creek. It was the perfect ending to a long, hard CAC preparation expedition.
What else could possibly make the CAC better? How ’bout a potluck? Rumor has it that Todd from the Hoosier Daddies is going to bring some brats, Kage is bringing some cookies, and we’ll be providing some baked potatoes and toppings. If you wanna bring a dish too, that’d be fantastic, but definitely not mandatory.
Anyway, I hope you’ve been training hard. This just might be the best adventure non-race of all time, and I’m not exaggerating at all. It’s going to be amazing.
In case you missed it on our facebook page (you can “Like” us on the right hand side of this page, by the way), I just received a Kurt Kinetic Road Machine Trainer from the best parents in the world (Thanks again Mom and Dad!). Check it out:
I have a few questions for you guys, though. If you have a trainer, how do you use it? Intervals? Long, slow rides? Shorter race-pace rides? Only when it’s snowing or raining or below freezing?
Also, how do you make it less boring? Do you watch movies? Listen to music or audiobooks? Work on your mental toughness by staring at the wall and suffering? Or do you do group “rides” with others on trainers to suffer together?
Speaking of suffering, has anyone ever tried any of the videos from The Sufferfest? Robby has one and really likes it, and I was thinking about trying one out. It looks like a painfully “fun” way to become a stronger rider.
Or have you used any other training videos? Anyone know anything about the “Spinervals” videos?
Robby, Bob, and I are planning on getting together for some group “suffer fests” on the trainers very soon (and anyone else is welcome to join us… Even Adam). We’ll let you know how it goes.
And what else do you do to train through the winter? Seriously, we want to know. Let’s get some feedback here, people! I’m talking to you! If you’ve been lurking on our blog without commenting, then we want to hear from you. Yes, you!
That’s right! If you’re reading this, then you’re invited to come join us in our weekly training. More often than not it’s going to be a gravel road ride. However, sometimes we might throw in some running, orienteering, paddling, prowler pushing, or any other tomfoolery we’re in the mood for.
This will be a weekly thing for us, and we’d love it if any of you want to join us. The more the merrier. Are you wicked fast? Cool. Come join us. Are you slower than a turtle with a hernia? So am I. Come join us. Seriously. You know you want to.
Our very first Virtuesday is tomorrow. We’re meeting at Dos Primos in Holts Summit at 8:15 PM (bring your lights) for a sweet, sweet 19-20 mile ride that our friend Nick has appropriately named “The Dirty Jenkins.” It includes some fantastic gravel roads as well as some grassy double track in the Mark Twain National Forest and even a little bit of single track.
Some of friends from Team Red Wheel are sure to join us, so make sure you do too! It’s a really fun ride that you don’t wanna miss. We’d love to see you out there. Have questions? Email me and I’d be happy to answer them. Or just post a comment below. See you on Virtuesday!