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Over and Out – Local CX Series Comes to an End
Well, the Thursday Night Cyclocross Series here in Mid-Missouri has come and gone. I’m sad to see it end, but I’m glad to have had the opportunity to race locally instead of driving for several hours just to race for 40 minutes. Aaron Smith from the Respect the Ride Foundation put on a great series of CX races here in Jefferson City.
The series started back on Thursday, October 21st (back when there was still some daylight after 4:30 PM). Every Thursday thereafter, excluding Thanksgiving, the races took place up until December 2nd. I’m happy to say that I raced in every single one of them. Well, “race” might not be the right word, but I at least participated in every event. And if there is one thing I’m good at, it’s participation. I never placed highly in any of the races, but I only took last place once (I would have been last more but Bob let me beat him once and left early once). More importantly, I had an incredibly good time at every race and got to ride and “race” with good friends and good people.
Every week, more and more people came to race. We had racers from Columbia, Owensville, and even as far away as West Virginia (our friend Scott from Forum Dental Adventure Racing used to live in Rolla and happened to be in Jeff City on business one Thursday). After week 3, the courses changed every week which only added to the fun.
It was also after the third race that Barry Volmer (of Team Red Wheel fame) and I realized we were the only two that had made it to every race in the series up to that point. We had joked that the person who makes it to every race was going to win an SUV provided by Respect the Ride Foundation. I was definitely not going to beat Barry in any race, so the only thing I could possibly do better than Barry was show up to every race…
At the end of every race, I would tell Barry to make sure he missed the next race so I could win the SUV. He wouldn’t listen, though. He just kept showing up. I then posted on the Team Red Wheel Blog before the November 18th CX race:
“Barry, the race has been canceled tonight so don’t bother showing up. BTW, I’m coming for you!”
Now, that was meant to be a joke. I just assumed anyone that read it would know that I was just trying to mess with Barry so I could win the SUV. To me, it was an obvious joke.
Then Barry responded with:
“…Hey, and why wasn’t I notified of the cancellation? Hells Bells.”
I just assumed that Barry was joking around since he ended his comment with “Hells Bells.” I mean, who says “Hells Bells” anyway? Well, apparently he really thought the race was canceled and so did everyone else until our friend Stoney later posted that the race was still on. I felt really bad. It looked like I was really trying to trick Barry when that wasn’t my intent at all. But wait… It gets worse.
Our very own Bob Jenkins had made arrangements for someone to fill in for him at work so he could race. When he heard that the race “was canceled” he told his fill-in to forget about coming into work. So Bob could no longer race because of me. Man, I’m such a jerk! I felt horrible. What I thought was a harmless taunt towards Barry ended up ruining Bob’s night. My clever little “joke” made me more of a jackass than usual (if that’s possible).

Hello. My name is Luke, and I'm a jackass.
I apologized to Bob several times, and I also posted an open apology to everyone on the Team Red Wheel site. Barry, being the fatherly (or is it grandfatherly?) kind of guy he is gave me these sage words of wisdom:
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, once we practice to deceive.”
Bob simply replied with this:
“It’s alright, I’m not mad. All I ask is that someone else take my place as glorious victor through turn 1.
In an email, I asked Bob for some advice on how to get the hole shot and take turn one. He replied with this:
“All you have to do is start on the front row, push off hard and spin like a madman. Wobble a little bit and people will slow down because they think you’re gonna wreck.”
Sure Bob. It’s just that easy, huh?
So, on the frigid evening of the 18th of November, 10 men and 3 women toed the line in the dark. My plan was to pedal harder than I’ve ever pedaled in my life. I didn’t care if my lungs exploded or my quads spontaneously burst into flames. I was going to do everything I could to take the first turn for Bob. It was highly unlikely I’d get it, but I was ready to hurt myself trying…
And that’s exactly what I did. The gun went off, and I flew off the line. A couple of guys were just a little quicker than me, so I mashed down on the pedals with even more fury. I passed one guy, and as I miraculously passed Christopher “the Champ” Bopp, I felt a shooting pain in my right adductors (aka – groin). My bid for the hole shot was over. I had failed, and I had let Bob down. But then… I remembered Bob’s words of wisdom.
I began wobbling side to side so vigorously that I thought I really was going to crash. Mud was flying, sweat was pouring, I was hurting. I continued to pedal as hard as I possibly could, and Chris actually backed off a little bit. It was just enough for me to take the first turn leading the pack. It worked! It sort of looked like this:

Sort of...
As I made the turn, I shouted at the top of my lungs, “That was for you, Bob! I can’t quit you!” Okay, I didn’t actually yell “I can’t quit you.” The rest of that is true, though.
After making it through turn one, I actually had to stop and get off my bike. Every single rider passed me. I almost turned around right there, but I would have felt like a bigger jackass for quitting a race that I ruined for Bob. So I just rode on slowly. My leg slowly started feeling a little better on the flats and downhills, but the uphills were terrible. I came in dead last, but I finished the race. I guess that’s what I get for trying to be funny. Karma can be a real female dog, if you know what I mean.
Anyway… That was the second to last race in the series. After that race, Barry Vollmer and Chris Bopp were actually tied for first place in the series standings with 540 points. Believe it or not, I was in 3rd place with 410 points (again, I’d like to point out that I was one of only two people to show up to every race).
The final race, on December 2nd, was going to be a showdown between Chris and Barry. Eleven men, including Bob this time, and two women showed up for the grand finale. I had no plans of going for the hole shot, and I’m not sure who got it. I wasn’t really feeling it for this race, and neither was Bob. We still rode hard (sort of), but we didn’t set any course records. As we came to the second to last climb, Bob got off his bike and walked. This is also known as the “Letting-Luke-Finish-Ahead-Of-Me-So-I-Don’t-Have-To-Smash-Him-If-He-Decides-To-Have-A-Sprint-Off-At-The-Finish-Line” maneuver.
As I was flying down the last descent, I heard a loud “PING” and then a lot of clanking. I looked down to see my rear derailleur flopping around wildly. Bummer. I hopped off my bike, and turned around. I didn’t see Bob, so it was pretty clear he wanted me to finish ahead of him. I would later learn, that he had turned his light off, and when he saw me stop, he actually hid in the trees until I moved on. What a guy.
As I carried my bike up the last climb, everyone was yelling for me to run. So, I sort of jogged/hobbled up the hill and crossed the finish line. I then learned that Chris came in second with Barry right behind him (Barry however raced the entire series on a single speed – yeah, he’s a badass).
So Chris won the series with 675 points, and Barry took second with 660 points. I maintained my third place standing in the series with 475 points. I’ll be the first to admit that my riding ability had nothing to do with taking 3rd in this series. It’s just amazing what simply showing up on a consistent basis will do. It was pretty cool to take third place even if it was by “just showing up.” But hey, I’ll take it. Others could have raced in every race and easily beaten me… But they didn’t.
It was nice to be rewarded with a third place finish, but that’ not all. No, no… There was no SUV for Barry and I to fight over. There was a prize for both of us, though, since we were the only ones to participate in every race. Aaron handed Barry and me each an envelope. Inside was $50.00 provided by Jefferson Bank. Huge thanks to Jefferson Bank for the prize money. This was amazing and very unexpected.
Barry and I also received a really cool photo of us from a previous CX race (well, I got a photo of me, and Barry got a photo of him). In the corner was written: “MVP – Most Valuable Participant – Lukas Lamb.” Now how cool is that? Another huge thanks to Aaron for the photo. Here, take a look:
There was some really nice swag handed out to the top three and then everyone else. The swag was donated by Red Wheel Bike Shop and The Hartsburg Cycle Depot, so another big thank you goes out to those guys.
Aaron and Respect the Ride did a superb job with this series, and I had a really great time at these races. It was nice to have cyclocross in our own backyard right here in Mid-Missouri. Aaron says he’ll do them again next year, and I know I’ll be there. He’s also planning some more events for the spring. Check back on this site or on his site for details in the future, and make sure you’re there. Seriously, you don’t want to miss these events. They’re close, they’re affordable, and they’re an absolute blast! I’ll let you know if they’re ever canceled, too, so don’t worry about that.
Until next time, mes amis… Au revoir.
CX Finale and Moonlighting Bob
Seasons greetings to all of you loyal Virtusites! It’s Christmas (and Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, and anything else you may celebrate) time. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that tonight is the final cyclocross race here in Jefferson City at Binder Park, brought to you by Respect the Ride Foundation. The race starts at 6:15, so bring your light and come on out for the grand finale in the series. The top two in the series standings will be decided tonight between our good friends Christopher Bopp and Barry Volmer. Much fun will be had, and schwag will be given away! Don’t miss it. Check out the info right here.
I’ll be there for sure. Bob should be there as well. With Christmas coming, though, Bob has been moonlighting at the mall this year for some extra cash. If he can find a fill-in to work for him, then he’ll be there for sure.
It’s only 5 bucks (for a great cause – bicycle education and advocacy), and the race is always a really great time. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it. And if you’re lucky, Bob will let you sit on his lap. We hope to see you there.
$5 buys a lot of pain…and fun
This last thursday marked the 2nd edition of local cyclocross racing in Jefferson City. I missed out on last week’s race because of work issues, but was super psyched to toe the line last night with about…9 other people?
How it went down:
I rolled into the parking lot just as Luke was getting registered, and it wasnt long before Barry and Bopp showed up. There was also a vanload of dudes from Walt’s bike shop and a CBC rider in attendance, so as far as I’m concerned the race was a sucess.
Why there weren’t more TRW racers there is a mystery to me; I would have to think that by now everyone knows about this race series. I’ll just assume that any TRW cross racer not in attendance for a $5 race at “our park” is intimidated by my blistering speed and good looks.
The course had quite a bit of straightaway with minimal winding turns. Not exactly the kind of cross course we’re accustomed to, but there was enough to keep everyone entertained. Mostly it was smooth grass with a few good climbs, a full-sized pair of uphill barriers and a triple set of short barriers.
Aaron fired his starter pistol and the race was underway. I was unable to get clipped in right away, so I lost some ground early. Given the competition, I knew I only had about 5 minutes worth of “badass” in me, so I decided to make the most of it. I sprinted until I was even with the 1st place rider, (Mizzou guy), and politely explained to him that I’d like to take the lead at least thru turn 1.
He graciously moved his skinny ass out of the way and I took the lead. Classy guy, I say. I enjoyed approximately 3 seconds of cyclocross glory leading the group into turn 1, but picked a really stupid line way too far inside and wound up having to swing wide off the course to keep the rubber down. This drew much laughter from the “peloton”, but I managed to make my way back onto course in 3rd position behind Mr Vollmer.
Not long after that, Chris Bopp came whistling past me… just like old times. I couldn’t help but smile and think back on all the CX races we had done together in the past, those really were some good times.
I still think he shaved his eyebrows for that race, but I’m not sure why.
Then I saw Bopp do something I hadn’t seen him do before during a race: He washed out his front wheel and bit the dirt right in front of me. I mean to say his bike went one way and he went the other… it was really a sight to behold. This drew many more laughs from the “peloton,” (and myself), but I knew he’d be bringing the thunder now. The Bopper is always faster after he wrecks.
I was having a great first lap, running 2nd and within a few feet of 1st. The triple set of barriers was coming up and I have to admit I was completely unconcerned with them. The plan was to bunny hop and sprint…it didn’t happen. I cleared the first one, but somehow managed to go OTB on the next…landing a perfect Tencious D powerslide.
Ouch on the knees.
Oh well, being in front was fun while it lasted. After that, I took my rightful place in the lineup…no-man’s land. It never fails, I’m always really far ahead of the guys behind me and really far behind the guys in front. I raced hard anyway, because you never know when someone else might crash:)
Nearing the start/finish line, I remember lamenting the absence of beer handups and drunken fanfare. Lo and behold, Nick Smith jumped out of the bushes and sprayed me down with delicious Keystone Light. That shit was cold….although I’m not sure how he managed to somehow only douse me in the crotch. It all seemed a bit pre-meditated if you ask me.
Anyone seeking to know proper beer-douching etiquette may refer to the photo below. I’m sure we all remember the day this photo was taken because it was the Rim Wrecker, (my first mtb race) where I dominated Corey Case.
Lap 2, Nick’s beer spraying precision got a little better, dousing me in the face and jersey. I even got some beer in the mouth..not bad work. When I came around for lap 3, we had all the kinks worked out and I received a 1/2 FULL can of Keystone.
I do love cyclocross.
5 laps came and went. I have no idea who won, but I think everyone had a good time. Results should be posted soon at respecttheride.org.
I’ve already put in a time off request so I can compete in this week’s race. I’m bringing a case of beer, a fire pit and the uncanny ability to have an awesome time getting my ass kicked by strangers and friends.
Binder–Thursday nights at 615–$5
Be there
I’m looking at you, Dragon. (Dragon is my nickname from the first race I ever did with Bob)
The important thing is that we get as many people out there for local cyclocross as possible. Tell all your friends, we need to support this thing. Somebody take some pictures, for crying out loud.”
So I promised to TRY to get the hole shot and take turn one for Bob. I’ve never been close enough to even see who gets the hole shot, but I had to at least try to go for it since I ruined Bob’s night (I’m still sorry, Bob. Please forgive me).