For those of you that missed it out on our CAC last year (read Kage’s report here, and our race report will be done… Um… Sometime in the next 10 years), you should be ashamed. The first CAC proved to be much longer and harder than anyone (Bob and I included) could have imagined. While our CAC might have worn people out, everyone left with smiles on their faces, completely satisfied.
The CAC will rise again, and trust me… If you love having a good time, then you want to be all over this CAC. This year’s CAC will be held (get it?) on April 6th, and HQ will once again be at the Pine Ridge Campground near Ashland, MO. Camping the night before and the night after is free (because we have so much clout in Missouri), and last year it was ridiculously fun. Just ask anyone who participated in the first CAC, and they’ll tell you that the camping was as much fun as the non-race itself.
The Carnage At the Creek Two (CAC2) is free (other than roughly 10 bucks for the map), and it will be roughly 6 hours. Solos, duos, trios, quadros, or whatever kind of team is allowed. You will be hiking, trekking, running, mountain biking, hike-a-biking (maybe), orienteering, and you’ll possibly face a mystery event or two.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), the CAC2 will have no paddling event…
OR WILL IT? MuwahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!
No, it won’t actually.
Even without a paddling leg this year, our CAC will still be (ahem) unbeatable. We will have many more details to come, but we need to know VERY soon if you will be joining us or not. The sooner you let us know you’ll be there, the more likely we’ll have a map for you. So let us know ASAP!
You can comment below, or you hop on the CAC facebook even page right here. So please don’t be shy. You know you’ll regret missing this when you here everyone raving about how much they enjoyed our CAC. Don’t be a fool. Come join us!
As Bob noted in his last post, the best adventure non-race in the world, Carnage at the Creek (CAC), will happen again in 2013. We aren’t quite sure on the date yet, but we’ll keep you posted on that front. What I want to share with you today, though, is pretty disturbing.
It has come to our attention that our beloved CAC had come under a vicious and unprovoked attack. No, I’m not kidding. And I know what you’re thinking:
But how could this be?
Who would possibly attack a CAC that has given so many people pleasure?
I thought everyone loved CAC.
Well, that’s what we thought too. But take a look at this:
Clearly, Todd from Whiskey Tango Foxtrot has some issues with the 2012 version of the CAC. I’d like to defend my CAC since it is so precious to me. So please watch the video above and then read my point-by-point rebuttal below.
Point 1: The Hike-a-Bike Section – This section may not have been “fun.” I can admit that. However, there are always parts of every adventure race where you think, “This sucks. I’m never doing this again.” But then you look back at it later and realize it was awesome… Unless you’re a wimpy Packers fan like Todd is.
Point 2: Getting Lost On the Way to the Race – Out of all the racers, volunteers, and super sexy race directors – over 30 people in all – only two people got lost. Can you guess who they were? I’ll give you a hint: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. That’s right, Brian and Todd. (And I love the fact that Todd risked his life for this shot.)
Point 3: Local Turkey Hunters – Well, there isn’t much to say about this one. Yes, it was turkey season. Yes, there was one disgruntled hunter. But he was probably more irritated with the 200 Bushcrafters in the area that weekend. Besides, it’s not like anyone was shot.
Point 4: Ticks in MO – Missouri isn’t the only state with ticks. Maybe Todd had more than his fair share of ticks, but that’s understandable. Everyone knows that Ticks are attracted to high levels of estrogen. (Todd’s rockin’ a sweet hat, by the way.)
Point 5: SuperKate Sleeps Like a Baby – Okay, I can’t really say anything about this one either. I’ve heard her snore, and it’s amazing that such a delicate, little flower could produce such a horrendous sound. Perhaps she’s developed sleep apnea in her old age.
Point 6: Proximity of Jefferson City to Iowa – Nothing I can do about this one. Maybe if someone put on an adventure non-race in Iowa, we would travel to that hell-hole.
Point 7: Snakes – It’s common knowledge that snakes, like ticks, are attracted to estrogen. (A very nice touch sitting on the toilet in this shot.)
Point 8: Bad Singletrack – I don’t get this one. I think the singletrack is easy and fun, but I guess I have a basic understanding of how my bike works and at least a modicum of athletic ability.
Point 9: Half-Priced Beef – I ate this questionable meat, and it truly was delicious. And I didn’t get sick. Man up, Todd. (That brownie looked delicious in this scene.)
Point 10: Bob Jenkins and Lukas Lamb are Sick SOB’s – What can I say? We tried to emulate the sickest, most sadistic race director we know – Gerry Voelliger.
Point 11: Smelly Rowboats – Coming from someone who lives in the middle of Iowa, a state most well-known for the stench of pig poop, this makes no sense.
Point 12: ??????? – There was no point #12, but don’t think I didn’t notice that hideous Cheese Head in this shot. You’ll pay, Todd Garrison. Oh, you’ll pay.
Obviously, all of Todd’s issues with our CAC are unfounded. For the rest of you, don’t worry. The CAC will be back sometime in April (probably) 2013. It will be bigger, longer, harder, and, as Todd said, maybe even bushier. Please don’t listen to Todd. He clearly has a case of CAC-envy.
The time has finally come! Tomorrow, 13 teams will descend upon the Mid-Mo area for the greatest Adventure Non-Race in the history of adventure non-races produced by Team Virtus on April 21st, 2012. Be excited. Be very excited.
Tomorrow Bob and I will place the last 22 CP’s in the woods and finalize setting up the course. Everything should be ready to go by the time anyone gets to the Pine Ridge Campground. I just wanted to give a few last minute details to all of you non-racers and any other Virtusites out there.
First of all, for all of you that can’t make it (or are too scared to make it) to the CAC this weekend, we’ll be tweeting updates as often as we can, provided we have cell phone service which is hit or miss out there. If you want to follow along, be sure to follow us on Twitter and/or like us on Facebook.
Now, on to the info regarding the actual non-race…
There is an area that Bob and I like to call the Bermuda Triangle of Cedar Creek. If you’re not very careful, you will become completely lost. This part of the trail is not marked very well at all. Nor is it maintained very well… as in, not at all. Bob and I have marked the worst part of the trail with small strips of bright pink tape. And where the trail has been re-routed, we marked it like this:
For the rest of the CAC, though, you’re on your own. This will be the only help you’ll receive. We just want to make sure that nobody’s race is ruined because of a poorly maintained trail.
One other thing about the trail. There are a lot of fences out there. You may cross almost all of them. You see, even though you will be non-racing through Mark Twain National Forest, cows are allowed to graze in the area. Most of the fences you will see are not on property lines. They are simply to prevent the cattle from, oh say… drowning in a deep pond… or doing a header off of a cliff. So unless you see a “private property” sign or a blaze of purple paint, assume you are indeed on National Forest land.
The above photo shows part of the “Bermuda Triangle” area. The “Keep Out” sign is a bit misleading. At first glance, it looks like you’d be trespassing if you continued on your way, right? Well, you’d be wrong. To the right of the sign is private property. To the left of the sign is public property. And if you look closely, you’ll see the pink tape that we used to mark the trail.
One last note on the non-race. Your feet may get wet. I just thought you might want to know that.
I think that was all I really needed to share with everyone. The forecast looks great as of now, so keep your fingers crossed on that front. Get it? On that “front”… Get it? I was talking about weather and then said something about a “front.” I know. Pretty hilarious.
We’ll have more info for you at the pre-non-race non-meeting on non-race morning. If you have any non-questions between now and then, feel free to email us or post a comment for us.
I hope you’ve all been training hard, and I hope you’re ready for the time of your life. See you soon, friends. See you soon.
We are now down to crunch time, everybody! If you want to non-race on April 21st, then you need to let us know RIGHT NOW! The CAC will be very satisfying to all who come to enjoy it.
To ensure we have the maps in time, we need to order them by Thursday afternoon. That means you have until Thursday, April 12th at 12:34 PM to let us know whether or not you’ll be non-racing at this year’s adventure non-race. For more info regarding the what, when, where, and what to bring, simply go here. And to see who else is already signed up, just go here.
As of now, we have 10 teams consisting of 18 racers from all over Missouri as well as a few racers from Iowa and Illinois! Very cool. And just to entice more out-of-state teams to come down off the fence and sign up for this, we have now lowered the entry fee to all non-Missouri residents to… Wait for it… ZERO DOLLARS!!! Okay, so that’s not a huge discount since it was already free to anyone that wants to join us at the CAC, but still, it’s a FREE race.
Also, we just got some pretty cool news regarding the CAC. I don’t want to spoil it, so you’ll have to show up to find out what it is. We’re also working on acquiring some schwag for this adventure non-race. That’s right. We’ll be giving away a few small prizes at the CAC! Cool, huh?
So, this is a free adventure race, with free camping, and free schwag. I mean, c’mon! There are no excuses for missing the CAC. I even know of someone that is skipping a 50K trail race to do this non-race. You’ll hate yourself if you miss this, and you know it.
One last thing… I’d be remiss if I didn’t pay homage to our friends at Team Seagal for bringing the idea of non-racing to our attention. Big thanks to those guys. To find out more about how non-racing got started for us and ultimately led to the upcoming CAC and Cedar Cross, then you really need to check this out.
So, please let us know if you want to take part in the CAC before Thursday, April 12th at 12:34 PM! Either leave us a comment below, contact us, or hit us up on facebook or twitter. Hope to see you in a couple of weeks!
Okay, boys and girls. At a super-duper, top-secret meeting last night, Bob and I worked really hard on our CAC. After many long, sweaty hours, we finalized the Carnage at the Creek course, and we’re confident it’s going to be our best adventure non-race to date. We’ve taken everything we’ve learned over the past two non-races, what to do and what not to do, and planned the best damn ANR (adventure non-race) you’ve ever seen. It will definitely be worth the entry fee (which is zero dollars by the way).
We will be ordering maps very soon, and we REALLY need to know if you plan on non-racing on April 21st. If you need more info on the race, read our previous post on the CAC. So far, here are the teams that have the intestinal fortitude to face our CAC
Male Solo Division:
- Dave Beattie – Mapping the Miles
- Travis Hammons – Offroad Medics
- Adam Laffoon – Formerly of Team Virtus
- Todd Rochleau – Hoosier Daddies
- Steven Willi – Lonsome Drifters
Male Duo Division:
- Chad Schwab, Thomas Ressmer – Two Tonic Knights
- Derrick Boos & Kyle Boos – Orange Lederhosen
- Dave Huntley and Tim “AR Virgin” Adams – Tardy Rooster
Two Person Coed Division:
Three Person Coed Division:
- Justin Nemeth, Stephen Nemeth, & Allie Winford – Team Name TBD
Three Person Male Division:
- Brian “Sucks at Tetherball” Van Weelden, Todd “The Packers Suck” Garrison, & Beau “Snores Like a Screaming Woman” PartsUnknown – Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Four Person Coed Division:
- Josh Perkins, Allie Edwards, Jerrell Vaughan, & Trevor Cokley – Team Wahoo
The Maybe Division:
- Snail Trail??? – Doubtful since they’re scared from last year’s non-race
As of now, we have
8 9 10 11 12 teams consisting of 13 15 17 18 19 20 21 22 24 racers signed up to do this ANR. If I didn’t have all of your names or the name of your team right or if you need to be in a different division, please let me know.
Also, if you would like to team up with anyone, leave us a comment below or contact us, and we’ll try to pair you up. Bob is available to help out any newbies that are uncomfortable with racing alone, and I believe that Travis Hammons (an experienced racer) said he would team up with someone if anyone wanted to. So don’t be shy! If you want a teammate, just let us know, and we’ll make it happen.
Everything we posted in the first CAC update holds true, so go check that out to make sure you have all the info you need. After working the CAC over last night and finalizing the course, the mileage estimates we gave in that update are quite accurate. We predict the fastest teams should finish in 5 hours, and the least fastest teams should finish between 8 to 8.5 hours after the start of the race. Don’t forget to bring a PFD and a $5 bill for the “Water Event.” Muha… Muha… Muhahahahahaha!!! If you don’t have a PFD, we have a few extras for you to borrow one, but we’ll have to double your entry fee. (That was a joke since 2 x 0 is still 0 by the way.)
Now it’s time for an important piece of new info, so LISTEN UP and PAY ATTENTION! I’m going to let one little secret out of the bag…
The CAC is a point-to-point non-race. That means that you will finish in a different location than the start of the race.
We will have a min-van or two to shuttle people back to the Pine Ridge Campground, but if you want to stay and hang out, drink some beverages, eat some food, and watch as everyone finishes the non-race, then you might want to pack a bag of stuff you’ll need after the race, and we’ll shuttle it to the finish line so it’s waiting for you when you finish. If you’d rather just hitch a ride back to the campground right away, we’ll make that happen too, but we’d love it if you would stick around to par-tay with us. And of course, after everything is said and done, we’ll be camping/chilling/reminiscing/having the best time ever at the Pine Ridge Campground on Saturday night, and we’d love it if you stayed for that as well.
So, if you’re on the fence, jump off it. Let us know if you want in ASAP. And let us know if you have any questions. We’d be happy to help in any way we can. See you on the 21st. We can’t wait!