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CAC Attack!

As Bob noted in his last post, the best adventure non-race in the world, Carnage at the Creek (CAC), will happen again in 2013.  We aren’t quite sure on the date yet, but we’ll keep you posted on that front.  What I want to share with you today, though, is pretty disturbing.

It has come to our attention that our beloved CAC had come under a vicious and unprovoked attack.  No, I’m not kidding.  And I know what you’re thinking:

But how could this be?

Who would possibly attack a CAC that has given so many people pleasure?

I thought everyone loved CAC.

Well, that’s what we thought too.  But take a look at this:

Clearly, Todd from Whiskey Tango Foxtrot has some issues with the 2012 version of the CAC.  I’d like to defend my CAC since it is so precious to me.  So please watch the video above and then read my point-by-point rebuttal below.

Point 1: The Hike-a-Bike Section – This section may not have been “fun.”  I can admit that.  However, there are always parts of every adventure race where you think, “This sucks.  I’m never doing this again.”  But then you look back at it later and realize it was awesome… Unless you’re a wimpy Packers fan like Todd is.

Point 2: Getting Lost On the Way to the Race – Out of all the racers, volunteers, and super sexy race directors – over 30 people in all – only two people got lost.  Can you guess who they were?  I’ll give you a hint: Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.  That’s right, Brian and Todd. (And I love the fact that Todd risked his life for this shot.)

Point 3: Local Turkey Hunters – Well, there isn’t much to say about this one.  Yes, it was turkey season.  Yes, there was one disgruntled hunter.  But he was probably more irritated with the 200 Bushcrafters in the area that weekend.  Besides, it’s not like anyone was shot.

Point 4: Ticks in MO – Missouri isn’t the only state with ticks.  Maybe Todd had more than his fair share of ticks, but that’s understandable.  Everyone knows that Ticks are attracted to high levels of estrogen. (Todd’s rockin’ a sweet hat, by the way.)

Point 5: SuperKate Sleeps Like a Baby – Okay, I can’t really say anything about this one either.  I’ve heard her snore, and it’s amazing that such a delicate, little flower could produce such a horrendous sound.  Perhaps she’s developed sleep apnea in her old age.

Point 6: Proximity of Jefferson City to Iowa – Nothing I can do about this one.  Maybe if someone put on an adventure non-race in Iowa, we would travel to that hell-hole.

Point 7: Snakes – It’s common knowledge that snakes, like ticks, are attracted to estrogen.  (A very nice touch sitting on the toilet in this shot.)

Point 8: Bad Singletrack – I don’t get this one.  I think the singletrack is easy and fun, but I guess I have a basic understanding of how my bike works and at least a modicum of athletic ability.

Point 9: Half-Priced Beef – I ate this questionable meat, and it truly was delicious.  And I didn’t get sick.  Man up, Todd. (That brownie looked delicious in this scene.)

Point 10: Bob Jenkins and Lukas Lamb are Sick SOB’s – What can I say?  We tried to emulate the sickest, most sadistic race director we know – Gerry Voelliger.

Point 11: Smelly Rowboats – Coming from someone who lives in the middle of Iowa, a state most well-known for the stench of pig poop, this makes no sense.

Point 12: ??????? – There was no point #12, but don’t think I didn’t notice that hideous Cheese Head in this shot.  You’ll pay, Todd Garrison.  Oh, you’ll pay.

Porn Stache

I think this weak attempt at a stache is Todd’s way of compensating for lacking in other areas.

Obviously, all of Todd’s issues with our CAC are unfounded.  For the rest of you, don’t worry.  The CAC will be back sometime in April (probably) 2013.  It will be bigger, longer, harder, and, as Todd said, maybe even bushier.  Please don’t listen to Todd.  He clearly has a case of CAC-envy.

 

 

 

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Last Call for CAC!

We are now down to crunch time, everybody!  If you want to non-race on April 21st, then you need to let us know RIGHT NOW!  The CAC will be very satisfying to all who come to enjoy it.

The CAC Adventure Non Race Logo

To ensure we have the maps in time, we need to order them by Thursday afternoon.  That means you have until Thursday, April 12th at 12:34 PM to let us know whether or not you’ll be non-racing at this year’s adventure non-race.  For more info regarding the what, when, where, and what to bring, simply go here.  And to see who else is already signed up, just go here.

As of now, we have 10 teams consisting of 18 racers from all over Missouri as well as a few racers from Iowa and Illinois!  Very cool.  And just to entice more out-of-state teams to come down off the fence and sign up for this, we have now lowered the entry fee to all non-Missouri residents to… Wait for it… ZERO DOLLARS!!!  Okay, so that’s not a huge discount since it was already free to anyone that wants to join us at the CAC, but still, it’s a FREE race.

Mystery Event at the Deuce Adventure Race

Derrick of Orange Lederhosen at a mystery event from last year's Adventure Non Race. Will there be something similar this year? Perhaps, but maybe with a slight twist... Then again, maybe not.

Also, we just got some pretty cool news regarding the CAC.  I don’t want to spoil it, so you’ll have to show up to find out what it is.  We’re also working on acquiring some schwag for this adventure non-race.  That’s right.  We’ll be giving away a few small prizes at the CAC!  Cool, huh?

So, this is a free adventure race, with free camping, and free schwag.  I mean, c’mon!  There are no excuses for missing the CAC.  I even know of someone that is skipping a 50K trail race to do this non-race.  You’ll hate yourself if you miss this, and you know it.

One last thing… I’d be remiss if I didn’t pay homage to our friends at Team Seagal for bringing the idea of non-racing to our attention.  Big thanks to those guys.  To find out more about how non-racing got started for us and ultimately led to the upcoming CAC and Cedar Cross, then you really need to check this out.

So, please let us know if you want to take part in the CAC before Thursday, April 12th at 12:34 PM!  Either leave us a comment below, contact us, or hit us up on facebook or twitter.  Hope to see you in a couple of weeks!

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