Well, for those of you living in a cave, I’d like to make you aware of a little football game going down this Sunday. We call it the Super Bowl. And with the Super Bowl, comes Super Bowl parties which means way too much food and drink, which also means one of our worst ideas of all time is about to happen again.
There is something you can do as a preemptive strike on all of those calories. And to all of you out there who say, “Just don’t eat any junk food or put anything into the holy temple that is your body,” I say SHUT YO’ MOUTH! That’s just ridiculous. I’m going to eat and drink whatever I want on Super Bowl Sunday, and no one is going to make me feel guilty about it. After all, it’s what we do most of the time that matters, and most of the time I eat a healthy diet. Sunday will not be one of those days, though.
Team Virtus is once again here to “help.” It’s called the Super Century, and it is a really stupid and terribly awful idea – a virtual group trainer ride of at least 62 miles (a metric century). Yes, I said it’s a TRAINER RIDE of 62 MILES OR MORE… INDOORS! Want to know how it all came about last year? Then check this out.
Last year, the first annual Super Century was a taint-smashing success. Not only did we have riders from all over the country, but we had some lunatics doing some crazy things instead of the trainer ride so we could all suffer together thousands of miles apart (check it out). So don’t be shy. If you want to join us, just leave us a comment below.
There aren’t any real rules. Just hop on a trainer (borrow one if you must), and pedal for 100 kilometers. You can even ride outside if you want to. Or you can try to come up with an equally stupid challenge. No idiot will be turned away.
Be sure to check us out on Facebook and Twitter for updates, photos, smack-talk, and other tomfoolery. Last year we even had “#supercentury” trending in the St. Louis area last year. So if you are
stupid awesome and brave enough to join us in this horrible “group” ride, be sure to use the #supercentury hashtag so we can see it. I’ve also set up a challenge on Daily Mile which you can find right here.
I’ll be starting at 6:00 AM Central Time again this year since I have to work at 11:30. If you want to be able to “chat” with us via facebook and twitter, you should be riding sometime between 6:00 AM and 10:30 AM CDT. I hope to be done in 4 hours or so, but we’ll see.
So… Seriously, it was one of the worst things I did last year, yet it was one of the best things I did last year (Here is my terrible blog post about it). It’s hard to describe just how terrible and awesome it really was, so you should just join us and find out for yourself. Yes, YOU! And if you’re preparing for the Dirty Kanza, the OGRE or Cedar Cross, then you should DEFINITELY join us since it will not only train your legs and taint, it will train your mind!
Leave us a comment if you want to join us, if you have questions, and especially if you have any movie recommendations to help me block out the pain in my ass.
Four men (and Adam), perfect weather, and 55 miles of gravel goodness. That basically sums up the Boone-Doggle ride back in February. Casey was in town, and Robby Brown, Adam Laffoon, and Aaron Lackman joined us for some fun. We met at the commuter lot near the Katy Trail, and Adam was promptly fired for not wearing his team jersey.
Knowing that I was trying to lose some weight to avoid eating dog food, Robby was kind enough to bring breakfast:
Robby, and Adam had taken a day off from work to ride with us. Unfortunately, Bob Jenkins was unable to
fake an illness find anyone to fill in for him, so he had to miss perhaps the best group ride in history. Aaron, had to work later in the day, so he was going to ride the first half of the ride with us. Oh, and he was kickin’ it old school on this:
Although it was a bit chilli at the start of our ride, the weather was beautiful… Especially for mid-February. We rolled out on the Katy Trail under overcast skies. Casey was pretty excited to ride the Katy Trail which seemed odd to us. I guess we just take it for granted since it’s in our back yard and we ride it all the time.
We soon hopped on some gravel, and I’ll be honest. I just wasn’t really feeling it. My legs felt dead, and I felt weak. Hoping I just needed to spin my legs out a little to warm up, I kept riding.
It wasn’t long before we passed the exact spot where we found Falcor two years ago. And then we rode a monster hill. Well, I should say that everyone but me rode the hill. I got about halfway up when I had to get off the bike and walk. I just had nothing in my legs.
When I finally caught up to the other guys, I told them I might just turn around. I didn’t want to slow them down. They talked me into at least continuing until we reached the gas station in New Bloomfield at roughly mile 24 where I could ride back with Aaron if I needed to. I agreed, and after downing a Honey Stinger Waffle, a Foosh Caffeinated Mint, and half a bottle of my go-go juice, I started to feel a little better. After another 15 minutes or so, my legs started coming back. I’m not sure if I was run-down from being in a caloric deficit or if it was just one of those mornings. I was just thankful that I was back to full-strength.
After more gravel followed by a bit of pavement, we soon found ourselves in the booming city of New Bloomfield. This was just under the halfway mark, and it was a planned rest/refuel stop. It was also the point at which Aaron had to leave us so he could make it back to work in time. Since I was feeling much better, I decided to keep riding.
After saying good-bye to Aaron, we bought some snacks and beverages. We talked about how much fun we were having and how Bob was totally missing the best ride ever. Since Bob was at work instead of having fun, and since he was also trying to lose weight to avoid eating a can of ALPO, we decided the right thing to do would be to send him a pizza.
We ended up ordering him a Large “All the Meats” Pizza from Papa John’s and had it delivered to his workplace. They wouldn’t let me leave a tip over the phone, but they said that I could just add the tip on the receipt. I was a little worried that Bob would leave the delivery person a 50 dollar tip, but it was a risk I was willing to take.
With some food in our bellies and our water bottles filled up, we headed back out for more sweet, sweet gravel. The sun broke through the clouds, and the temperature neared 60 degrees.
Part of the ride had some very fresh, loose gravel. It’s always cool to ride some virgin gravel, but it makes it much more difficult to ride since it is so rough. Now, when I say it was fresh, I mean it was still being smoothed out as we were riding. Seriously.
We kept riding, talking, laughing, and waiting to hear from Bob after he received his free lunch. The anticipation was killing us.
**What do you think he’ll say to the delivery person? How many slices do you think he’ll eat? He’ll either eat all of it out of spite, or he’ll give it away and stay strong. Man, I can’t wait to hear his reaction!**
Finally, after what seemed like forever, I received a text message from Bob. Here is how it went down:
Thankfully, Bob “only” gave the driver a $5 tip. It was more than I would have normally left, but it was worth every penny. We laughed our asses off again. Later he said he was pretty confused when the delivery girl showed up asking for Bob. When he heard that I had already paid for it, he figured it out. And then he ate half of the pizza. In all honesty, though, I felt kind of bad for sending the pizza. It was hilarious, but we really did miss Bob. It’s just not the same without that guy. I can’t quit you, Bob Jenkins!
Anyway… Shortly after getting the text from Bob, we rolled into Tebbetts, MO. The Turner Katy Trail Shelter is there, and it’s a really cool place where Katy Trail riders can stay. Unfortunately it was closed, so we didn’t get to check it out. We took a short break, ate some food, and then headed back out onto the gravel flats near the Missouri River.
Even though this was still fun to ride, it was definitely the worst part of the ride. The wind was simply ridiculous as it always is when I ride the gravel flats. It was in our faces the entire 15 miles or so back to the cars.
At one point, we passed some big mounds of dirt where some kids were four-wheeling. Casey was literally almost run over by a four-wheeler, and in the process of trying not to die, he ran into Robby Brown. I’m not sure how Robby, who is basically half the size of Casey, didn’t crash, but he somehow managed to stay on his bike.
Now, it could have been an honest mistake. The kid may not have seen us coming. I could have forgiven that, but then the kid turned his four-wheeler around and sprayed Casey and Robby with dirt as he pealed out. This was inexcusable. In my younger days, there would have been a physical altercation. But these were just stupid teenagers who had no idea how close they came to being beaten to death. Remember, Casey is an MMA figher. Don’t believe me? Here’s a video of one of his fights (and yes I get a little carried away with the yelling).
It could have been a much more entertaining story, but we did the mature (and less fun) thing and just rode away.
Shortly after this, Casey and Robby dropped Adam and me pretty quickly. In our defense, they had gears while we were on single speeds. I doubt I could have kept up anyway, though. The wind was just killing me. Adam and I kept looking at each other in disbelief of how strong the wind was. It was perfect training for the Dirty Kanza 200.
I really can’t tell you how great this ride was. The weather was perfect, I got to ride with some friends, I got to ride with my brother which is a rarity, and the scenery was simply beautiful. Join us on the next ride, wont’ you?
Even though photos never do justice to how cool it really is to be out there, I’ll leave you with a few (and there is a video coming soon, too):
We have 5 Virtusans stupid enough to do the Dirty Kanza 200: Bob Jenkins, Robby Brown, Adam Laffoon, Casey Lamb, and me. The four of us that live in MO (which excludes Casey) decided to do our first group training ride this morning in preparation for DK.
Unfortunately, I had to be at work by 11:30, so we had to meet fairly early at 7:oo AM. When my alarm went off, I was pissed at the alarm clock. Then I looked outside to realize the weather man lied. Instead of 45 degrees and partly cloudy, it was completely overcast with a light mist, temps hovering around 35, and lots of nasty wind. I was pissed at the weather man. All I wanted to do was go back to bed. Then I remembered that Bob, Robby, and Adam agreed to meet me. I was pissed at the idiot that suggested this ride. Wait… That was me. What was I thinking?
If I wasn’t meeting up with my team, there’s no way I would have gotten this ride in. So I dragged my chubby buttocki out of bed, loaded up my bike and met the fellas at the Katy Trail Pavilion/Commuter Lot.
We headed out on a mile or two of pavement before we would hit the gravel. There was a really strong headwind, and the light mist made it really cold. I was really wishing I was not on my bike at that moment.
We soon found ourselves on the gravel, and I started to warm up. We talked, joked, laughed, and made fun of Adam. I was finally glad that I was on my bike with my pals.
It wasn’t too long before we came up on some heavy machinery. It’s a Virtus rule that Adam must pretend to drive any type of tractor/heavy machinery that we find. Bob and I yelled ahead for Adam to come pose for a photo, but he and Robby pretended not to hear us. So Adam was once again fired from the team. Bob and I decided to take some photos anyway.
While we waited for Robby and Adam to realize that we weren’t behind them, Bob decided to do some serious planking. Check it out:
Eventually, Adam and Robby came back to see why we weren’t right behind them. Adam then begrudgingly posed for the photo that should have already happened.
It wasn’t long before we were back on the gravel riding back into the vicious wind. We had all warmed up by now, and we were having fun. The wind sucked, but it was good training for Dirty Kanza. Anytime there was a frozen puddle, Bob tempted fate by riding as fast as he could through the middle of it. I kept waiting for the ice to break and reveal a deep ditch, sending Bob flying through the air to fall flat on his face. Sadly, I was disappointed every time.
The ride was great, the wind was harsh, and the miles were flying by. I don’t need to go into great detail, so I’ll just share a few photos with you…
After 35 minutes… Okay, it was only a minute or so, we hopped back on our bikes. We soon found ourselves back at Highway 94 after 10 miles of riding. This is where Bob had to leave us because he wanted to stay employed. As we said our good byes and shed a tear or two, we noticed a truck coming by salting the road. Seriously. I guess the weather man was WAY off.
Bob decided to hop on the Katy Trail to hustle back to his truck so he wouldn’t be late for work. However, there was a deep ditch with a lot of water in it preventing Bob from crossing. As Bob put it, “There’s an effing moat there!” So he had to ride pavement for just a bit before hopping on the Katy.
Robby, Adam, and I made our way on the Katy Trail into Tebbetts, MO. We then hopped back on the gravel to make our way back to the commuter lot and our vehicles. There was one stretch of gravel where the wind was absolutely sucking the life out of my legs. Fortunately, we decided to stop for a snack break by the Missouri River at about the 20 mile mark.
Before we got too cold by the river, we started on our way again. We were feeling pretty good, and with the wind finally at our backs, we were once again making good time. There was plenty of cool sites to hold our attention. Like this little creek crossing:
It wasn’t long before we were back on the Katy Trail for a short stretch before getting back on the gravel. All was going great, and I was going to be done with plenty of time to make it to work on time. Until we got about a half a mile from the Haunted Bridge where I got a flat tire. Bob is usually the one to get flat tires, so I normally don’t have to worry about it. With him gone, however, I guess I had to take one for the team. Fortunately I always carry an extra tube, and Adam had CO2 for me (again, he was trying to buy his way back onto the team).
I quickly had a new tube in place, and was ready to roll. But then I heard a dreadful hissing sound. Damn it! I guess I had a bad tube, or I missed something in the tire that had punctured my new tube. Robby and Adam were on cross bikes, so their tubes wouldn’t help me. With about 7 miles left, I was going to have to walk my bike back and risk being late for work. Robby volunteered to haul ass back to the parking lot and come back with my van, and Adam volunteered to walk with me.
I was glad to have Adam’s company on the walk. Between that and letting me use his CO2, I guess he’s back on the team. Now, don’t worry. It won’t be long until he does something Adam-like and winds up fired again, I assure you.
After walking just under 2 miles and 35 minutes later, Robby arrived with my van.
I loaded up my bike and climbed into the warm van. Adam decided to ride the last few miles back to his car. I would have liked to stay with Adam, but I was running short on time. I had to get going, so Robby and I drove back to the commuter lot.
It was a great ride with great friends. On more than one occasion, my mind wandered to Casey. I’m VERY fortunate to have my friends and teammates so close. It’s so much easier to train and push yourself when you can do it with your team. Casey, however, has yet to find a group of like-minded people to train with in NY. It’s gotta be tough to train for Dirty Kanza by yourself. If anyone can do it, though, it’s Casey. When he wraps his brain around something, he’s a very determined dude. I guess I just wished Casey could be here to train with us.
Anyway… What was supposed to be a 32 mile ride, ended up being a 24.5 mile ride, a 1.9 mile hike-a-bike, and about a 6 mile car ride for me. The route was relatively flat, but with the wind and the rough gravel, it’s an ass kicker.
Thanks to Bob, Robby, and Adam for riding with me. And thanks to Robby and Adam for helping me out at the end. It was a great day.
And by the way, I made it to work in plenty of time. Bob, however, was just a few minutes late for his job.
So, there you have it. Our first group training ride for Dirty Kanza is in the books. Our next scheduled group ride is the Super Century on February 5th. Wanna join us? And we’ll keep you posted if we plan another ride before that. Until then, Buh-Bye.